Category: Life

Life

Young BYU Football Fan Experiences Crippling Disappointment after Championship Hopes are Dashed

With eager hands full of saved allowance cash and fresh merch Truxtwell Stufflebeam, local 10-year-old BYU Football superfan, stood at the checkout register of the BYU Store intoxicated at the thought of what this season might bring. His team had just taken out Utah at home in convincing fashion, snapping a losing streak that spanned 12 years – before Truxtwell was even born. A new … Continue reading Young BYU Football Fan Experiences Crippling Disappointment after Championship Hopes are Dashed

Mark Grayson
Campus, Featured, Life

BYU Puts on Sin-Themed Haunted House to Scare Students Straight

Halloween is a favorite time of year for BYU students. “Spooky season” is jam-packed with fall adventures, such as pumpkin patches, corn mazes, hay-rides, and of course, haunted houses. While many if not most of these activities are wholesome and recreational, the BYU administration is becoming increasingly concerned with how the adversary’s influence might be heightened during this eerie time. To keep students on the … Continue reading BYU Puts on Sin-Themed Haunted House to Scare Students Straight

Lisa Simpson
Campus, Life

BYUtv Announces New Show Lineup

You may remember Studio C and Dwight in Shining Armor, but these shows have been canceled for being “too immature”. In their place, there will be new shows catered to the modern BYU student. “We realized that many students find no interest in watching BYUtv, so we shifted our target audience from sheltered bubble people to the type of freshmen you see on BYU Barstool,” … Continue reading BYUtv Announces New Show Lineup

Renesmee
Campus, Featured, Life

What’s Going on in Rexburg?

Do you guys remember all of your friends from high school who weren’t as good as you and didn’t get into BYU? Well if they haven’t left the church by now, you can find them at BYU-Idaho! We sent our investigative reporter, DeDuce Información, to Rexburg this past week to check up on these prodigal sons and daughters. Let’s take a look at the recent … Continue reading What’s Going on in Rexburg?

Bobby Zimmeruski
Life

Nonmember BYU Student Files Restraining Order Against Missionaries

Earlier this week Sarah West, one of BYU’s three nonmember students, filed a restraining order against two Provo missionaries. The decision was a long time in the making following various text messages, cookie drop-offs, and mid-afternoon visits from the overzealous companions. “I must have twelve copies of the Book of Mormon by now,” an upset Sarah told The Alternate Universe in an exclusive interview. She … Continue reading Nonmember BYU Student Files Restraining Order Against Missionaries

Sister Michael