Late on Thursday afternoon, blue smoke billowed from the chimney vent above the Vatican, breaking with centuries of the traditional black-or-white coloring. The crowds eagerly waiting in St. Peter’s Square were unsure how to react: some erupted in cheers, some broke down in tears, and many just scratched their heads in pure confusion. Onlookers around the Sistine Chapel waited on tenterhooks to see what this strange omen meant—a Smurf pope, perhaps?—until, finally, the new head of the Catholic Church revealed himself to the public.

It was none other than Brigham Young University’s beloved mascot, Cosmo the Cougar– papal name “Cosmus II.”

“He is more than qualified to lead this religion,” stated Cardinal Jay Finch, who participated in the 24-hour conclave. “We all saw it in there– he’s brave, compassionate, and hilarious. Not to mention, he’s way better at backflips than any other pope we’ve had. Well, maybe except for Pope Somersault I way back in 1126, but it’s a close call.”

Many in the Vatican were overjoyed and amused by this new development, while others were simply dumbfounded. Said Francesca Digiorno, a native of Rome, “I don’t understand. We were expecting someone steeped in the Catholic tradition, and then we get some mascot from an American college? And it’s not even a Catholic school!”

Pope Cosmus had little to say in his first papal address, though he has evidently done away with the classic two-fingered “Benediction Sign,” choosing instead to flash the BYU pinkie-thumb salute to the crowd below. He was not available for comment, but performed an aerial flip to much applause and praise. Church members around the world can be well-assured of a bright future for Catholicism in the furry hands of Cosmus.