This week, Chappell Roan violently decapitated an 11 year old fan who looked at her in the Provo Marriott and Conference Center. Onlookers were shocked as they witnessed the scene. Staff member Kayleigh Ross recounted: “I’ve never seen someone move with such swiftness and accuracy. One moment the kid was walking past, the next she was on the ground–-or I guess only her … Continue reading Chappell Roan Beheads Young Fan While Visiting Provo
Zendaya’s stylist, Law Roach, confirmed that the couple had already gotten married. Our photographers, close personal friends of the couple, got into the venue to see the splendor. Continue reading BREAKING: Exclusive Look at Tom and Zendaya’s Private Wedding
Dear The Daily Universe, We waited for you at the base of the Y. We waited all day and night. Yet again, we were there, and you were anywhere but. You know we care for you. We love, and that much is made clear. We fight, and even then are fueled by unadulterated adulterous passion. You know we love you. So you know it pains … Continue reading Another Open Letter to the Daily Universe
The deer that roam Brigham Young University’s campus are generally appreciated by faculty and students alike. They mostly keep to themselves and are greatly enjoyed whenever seen. Multiple students walking on the south campus trail on the evening of February 13th reported seeing Colson Lowder, a junior in the construction management program, shoot a campus deer. “I had stopped to watch the deer, since it’s … Continue reading BYU Student Arrested After Shooting Campus Deer
A strain of what specialists are calling “Brigham Butt” is surging campus-wide, sparking concern over public restrooms and the severe toilet splash back when flushing. Infected students report symptoms of itchiness, burning sensations, unpleasant odor, and feelings of immense dread as the epidemic spreads. Mathematics major Derek Bottom described his experience: “I got Brigham Butt from the center stall in the Wilk. That … Continue reading BYU Faces Outbreak of “Brigham Butt” From Campus Toilet Splash Back
