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Cosmo Cougar Announces Official Debut Album: The Life of a Showcat
Ever since Cosmo closed the curtain on his last football era in 2024, Cosmies (Cosmo fans) have been eagerly awaiting his next move. On August 20th, 2025, he announced his debut album, offering a behind-the-stands look at life during his football days. While this came as a shock to many sports fans, it was not a shock to Cosmo’s cultish fan club. Kourtneigh Brace shared … Continue reading Cosmo Cougar Announces Official Debut Album: The Life of a Showcat
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Top 50 Things to do Alone Now that All Your Friends are Married
So, the spring wedding season is over, and now you’re all alone. That doesn’t mean you can’t have fun! Here are our top suggestions for how to keep yourself occupied until you find new single friends! Do yet another scripture study about patience Get into real estate Learn how to cook Ratatouille, become disappointed when you discover it’s just vegetables Explore the Ted Bundy cave … Continue reading Top 50 Things to do Alone Now that All Your Friends are Married
Creamery Outlet Newest Flavor: 4000 Bees In A Cup
The Creamery Outlet in Provo has been getting a lot of traction lately as guests swarm in to grab a brand new flavor: 4000 Bees In A Cup. “The new flavor contains as many as 4000 and as little as 3998 bees of many breeds. One to two bees sometimes get lost in the shuffle. There’s just so many of the little guys in there. … Continue reading Creamery Outlet Newest Flavor: 4000 Bees In A Cup
BYU Biology Produces Third “Paris Triplet”
The Biology Department is proud to introduce the latest lab-grown specimen, Abednegeaux. Through a long period of research and trial and error, the lab was able to create a man more than worthy to be an LDS influencer. With rock hard abs, a temple recommend, and a tiny microphone, Abednegeaux is a model of algorithmic perfection. Head bioengineer, Adam Lively said, “It only made … Continue reading BYU Biology Produces Third “Paris Triplet”
‘Dancing with the Stars’ Announces Upcoming “LDS Hymn Night”
The hit competitive ballroom TV show, Dancing With The Stars, just announced an upcoming “LDS Hymn Night.” Reactions have been mixed, but Latter-day Saints have expressed roaring enthusiasm. “I’ve been praying for this for years,” remarks avid fan Bryson Dyson. “Now I know God is real!” The Los Angeles mission president has given the local missionaries permission to attend the show. “What could go wrong?” … Continue reading ‘Dancing with the Stars’ Announces Upcoming “LDS Hymn Night”
The Five Types of Couples in the Married Student Ward
Did you know all people, ever, can generally be put into one of five boxes? After some investigative journalism, we at the Alternate Universe have consolidated all members of Married Student wards into these five categories. Number 1: The Choir Couple Every ward has at least one, but it’s more common to have 3-4 of these couples. If you’re lucky, the only way … Continue reading The Five Types of Couples in the Married Student Ward
How that Spider-Man Guy is going to Spend his 3 Million Dollars.
This morning, BYU student Carter Smith won 3 million dollars after kicking a ball. During the ESPN Game Day broadcast at Heritage Halls, Smith had the chance to kick a field goal to win money. Three billionaires present at the event each put up $1 million if he made it. Smith’s ball sailed through the field goal, and BYU fans erupted in cheers. This life-changing … Continue reading How that Spider-Man Guy is going to Spend his 3 Million Dollars.