Artemis II Astronauts Get Lost on Way Back From Moon; End Up at Kolob
In an unpredicted turn of events, instead of returning to Earth as planned, the crew of the Artemis II ended up at Kolob, the star-planet from Mormon cosmology. NASA reassured the public to “not worry” and that “they’ll be back in the twinkling of an eye.” We had the unique opportunity to get on a call with the lost crew and interview them about their … Continue reading Artemis II Astronauts Get Lost on Way Back From Moon; End Up at Kolob
BYU Clarifies Honor Code to Allow “Beards” for Gay Students
In a beautiful display of consideration for the gay community at BYU, the HCO has updated the grooming standards to allow gay students to have a fake significant other of the opposite sex—otherwise known as a beard. “This whole time, I thought I wasn’t allowed to fake date my lesbian friend without a beard card,” said gay student John Gay. “I’m so glad we can … Continue reading BYU Clarifies Honor Code to Allow “Beards” for Gay Students
Cosmo Tryout Requirements LEAKED! See What You’d Have to Do to Get This Coveted Role
The criteria for assuming the role of BYU’s beloved mascot is no joke. Here’s what you would have to do, ranked from easiest to most difficult. Disarm a Bomb Fight an Cougar and Win Talk to a Woman Treat a Ute Fan With Respect Make a Fursona Be Between 5’9” and 6’ It’s a challenging job to fill, but fill it BYU must. … Continue reading Cosmo Tryout Requirements LEAKED! See What You’d Have to Do to Get This Coveted Role
Incensed Patron Upends Table of Chatty Students in HBLL Reading Room
The BYU Library, otherwise known as the HBLL (Harold B. Lee Library), has precious few quiet zones, limited to the 5th floor during times of no construction, the 2nd floor Reading Room or Periodicals, and the 1st floor Social Sciences Section. Students requiring enforced quiet study for concentration are limited to these three areas. Unfortunately, since these three areas have some of the greatest square … Continue reading Incensed Patron Upends Table of Chatty Students in HBLL Reading Room
President Oaks to Announce Winners of Raffle Instead of Temples
Have you been telling your bishop the truth about your full tithing payments? Good news, you’ve been entered into a Church-wide raffle! Here’s what you might win. Tour of the Church’s Nuclear Bunker One sip of coffee no consequences FastPass Line Access for Salt Lake Temple Open House All Expenses Paid Vacation to Adam-ondi-Ahman Meet and Greet with Patrick Kearon Early Access to New … Continue reading President Oaks to Announce Winners of Raffle Instead of Temples