Best Tattoo Ideas for New Graduates
Now that you’re graduated and you no longer have to treat your body like a temple, here’s the best tattoo inspo to commemorate your BYU educational journey. Continue reading Best Tattoo Ideas for New Graduates
Dear Alternate Universe: Help! All of my friends are getting married!
Dear Alternate Universe, I’m writing to ask for advice on how to handle all of my friends getting married this summer. I’m 6’2″, work out twice a week, and served a mission, but I just can’t seem to get a girlfriend. How should I present myself this summer in order to make it clear that I’m not upset, even though I am? Yearningly, Logan Dear … Continue reading Dear Alternate Universe: Help! All of my friends are getting married!
Gym Bro Eats Girlfriend to Hit Protein Goal
Local man Jakob Kurtis was sick of eating chicken and rice every day just to have mid physique. Knowing that real change comes from hard work, and often great sacrifice, Jakob consumed 2,698 grams of lean protein by eating his girlfriend, Kayleigh. Jakob stated: “Kayleigh was great as a person, but she’s even better as a complete protein source. I’m honestly surprised more people aren’t … Continue reading Gym Bro Eats Girlfriend to Hit Protein Goal
Loser with No Friends Studies on Reading Day
Local chump Sandra McCullough was caught using BYU’s Reading Day for studying rather than normal activities like hanging out with friends or having a life. “In all my years of working here, I’ve never seen someone actually study on Reading Day,” reported longtime librarian Susan Goodrich. “It’s really quite sad to see her be the first.” Observers noted being “weirded out” by seeing someone take … Continue reading Loser with No Friends Studies on Reading Day
Uh-Oh! You Just Caught Your Elders Quorum President in the Caffeine Cave
There you were, reaching for a bottle of Sprite Zero Sugar for FHE, and there he was, reaching for a Pipeline Punch Monster like a Brontosaurus reaching for an unholy leaf. It was shocking, unsettling, and altogether testimony-shaking. You said a quick prayer before confronting him. “Oh, I thought that caffeine announcement was an April Fool’s joke,” he replied. A pitiful excuse. You wrestled with … Continue reading Uh-Oh! You Just Caught Your Elders Quorum President in the Caffeine Cave