Category: missionary

Life, missionary

Missionary Realizes New Testament is Actually Fire

Today, Elder Michael McMasterson of the Australia Melbourne Mission admitted that he started reading the New Testament for the first time earlier this week. In an email he wrote: “I never knew this, but the New Testament is actually fire. Jesus and Paul really be saying a lot of dope stuff.” McMastersons’ parents, Donny and Mary, are both elated and disappointed: “He’s 20-years-old and we … Continue reading Missionary Realizes New Testament is Actually Fire

Cameron Frye
Featured, Life, missionary, Provo, Sports

Chase Roberts To Replace Angel Moroni on Provo Temple

Following the BYU football team’s nail biter victory against Arkansas, the First Presidency put out a statement to the press. “Considering his angelic athleticism and heroic one-handed catch on Saturday, it has been determined that a statue of Chase Roberts will replace the Angel Moroni on the remodeled Provo Temple.” Noted football fan Dallin H. Oaks further commented: “We were promised that we would see … Continue reading Chase Roberts To Replace Angel Moroni on Provo Temple

Paul Atreides1 Comment
Life, missionary, Provo, Quiz

Can You Survive a First Date with an RM?

Congratulations! The snazzy RM from your Eternal Families class asks you out as part of the obligatory assignment for all single students. Your only goal is to survive. The rules are simple: pick an option under each question, and scroll down to view the results of each decision. Blue indicates the best outcome, green is good, orange is pushing it, and red means you didn’t … Continue reading Can You Survive a First Date with an RM?

Renesmee
missionary, News

A Look Inside the Newest Version of Preach My Gospel

One new lesson and four new chapters have been added to the latest edition of Preach My Gospel.   Lesson  6: Deep Doctrine If they are going to hear about it at some point, it’s better they hear it from you. Material to cover in this lesson includes Kolob, seer stones, how to tell the difference between a good angel and a bad angel with … Continue reading A Look Inside the Newest Version of Preach My Gospel

Lisa Simpson