Author: Frank Heffley

Featured, News, Provo

BYU student lights mountain on fire after misunderstanding old conference talk

In the wake of the various fourth of July bush fires seen over the weekend, President Monson’s popular 2013 talk about starting a wild fire has been deemed the primary cause BYU student Bernie Burns was brought into custody early on July 6th after coming forth as the culprit of one of many fires started over the holiday weekend. The fires came as a shock … Continue reading BYU student lights mountain on fire after misunderstanding old conference talk

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Featured, News, Sports

HE’S COMING HOME: AJ Dybantsa Returns To BYU As Finance TA

In a shocking turn of events, AJ Dybantsa has forgone the NBA draft in favor of returning to BYU as a finance TA. Dybantsa posted the following on LinkedIn this morning: “My time at BYU is not done. NBA contracts might seem appealing, but I could make that money in a single summer selling pest control.” While many NBA fans mourn the decision, summer sales … Continue reading HE’S COMING HOME: AJ Dybantsa Returns To BYU As Finance TA

Frank Heffley1 Comment
Campus, Featured, News

April Showers! BYU To Allow CS Majors To Shower Again For The Month Of April

Spring has sprung on BYU campus, and in preparation for the May flowers, BYU is implementing a new and unprecedented policy. At 11 am on Thursday morning, BYU administration made the announcement that computer science students will be officially allowed to shower for all of the month of April  “We’re always looking for opportunities for our students to experience new things,” says BYU president C. … Continue reading April Showers! BYU To Allow CS Majors To Shower Again For The Month Of April

Frank Heffley
Featured, Life, News, Provo

BYU Students Accused Of Cultural Appropriation By Oompa Loompa Community For Spray Tans

In the wake of the recent slew of marriage announcements and monthly recaps being posted to instagram, the Oompa Loompa community has voiced concern over BYU students’ overbearing use of artificial tanning.  Oompa Loompa political figure and influencer Hugh Grant recently took to social media with the following statement:  “My culture is not your costume.” The comment shocked BYU students and faculty and has left … Continue reading BYU Students Accused Of Cultural Appropriation By Oompa Loompa Community For Spray Tans

Frank Heffley
News, Sports

BYU Sues Big 12 For Trademark Infringement Of The 12 Apostles

As all eyes turn to the Big 12 basketball tournament that began today, the real March madness is taking place in a lawsuit filed by BYU against the Big 12. After 3 years of Big 12 membership, BYU officials have noted that the number used in the conference’s title is eerily similar to that of the quorum of the twelve apostles. Since the lawsuit was … Continue reading BYU Sues Big 12 For Trademark Infringement Of The 12 Apostles

Frank Heffley