In the wake of the various fourth of July bush fires seen over the weekend, President Monson’s popular 2013 talk about starting a wild fire has been deemed the primary cause

BYU student Bernie Burns was brought into custody early on July 6th after coming forth as the culprit of one of many fires started over the holiday weekend. The fires came as a shock given the numerous and remarkably logical fire warnings issued by state leaders leading up to the holiday, but Burns insists that the fire was a simple doctrinal misunderstanding.

“I mean, how was I supposed to know that the fire in the story was actually a bad thing?” says Burns’s official statement. “What was I supposed to do? Read the whole talk like a psycho?”

Despite Bernie’s compelling argument, BYU responded with a statement of its own condemning Burns’s actions.

“While it’s true that the young President Monson accidentally starts a wild fire in Obedience Brings Blessings,” it reads, “we remind students that lighting the mountain on fire is still a severe no no, and against the honor code probably.”

Regardless of the destruction caused by the reckless student, locals should rejoice that the culprit has been caught, and all are encouraged to celebrate with the least incendiary means possible.