BYU Campus Gridlock As Freshman Enrollment Increases Yet Again

BYU Campus Gridlock As Freshman Enrollment Increases Yet Again It was a momentuous first day of the 2026 fall semester for new and returning BYU students alike. There were joy-filled mission reunions and the weather was perfect. The only cloud in the sky was a dramatic and unprecedented gridlock stretching from the JKB to the JSB. BYU has been steadily increasing enrollment for the past … Continue reading BYU Campus Gridlock As Freshman Enrollment Increases Yet Again

BYU ROC Board Releases Statement, Condemns Busy Students as “Poor Fans”

Provo, UT – In a statement released in response to recent backlash surrounding new ROC Pass ticket claim policies, the ROC Board maintained that students with responsibilities that infringe upon athletic event attendance are “not real BYU Cougars.” The press release reads as follows: “Dear Students and BYU Alumni, “A lot of discussion has been made recently regarding our new policy for BYU Football and … Continue reading BYU ROC Board Releases Statement, Condemns Busy Students as “Poor Fans”

BYU student lights mountain on fire after misunderstanding old conference talk

In the wake of the various fourth of July bush fires seen over the weekend, President Monson’s popular 2013 talk about starting a wild fire has been deemed the primary cause BYU student Bernie Burns was brought into custody early on July 6th after coming forth as the culprit of one of many fires started over the holiday weekend. The fires came as a shock … Continue reading BYU student lights mountain on fire after misunderstanding old conference talk

Dear Alternate Universe: What should I do if I’m gay and have to set foot on BYU?

Dear Follower, Take up the gay man’s burden. You are Prometheus bestowing fire upon humanity. You are the liberator of the prisoners who know only shadows on the cavern wall. You are bringing gay to a world almost entirely unfamiliar with it. That said, you’re not as alone as you might think. You’re joining the ranks of world-famous queer icons like Cosma the Bisexual Cougar, … Continue reading Dear Alternate Universe: What should I do if I’m gay and have to set foot on BYU?

BYU Administrators Worry as High Gas Prices Lead to Surplus of Parking Spots

The war in Iran has been controversial, having adverse effects on many, and highly disapproved of by most politicians. However, it has had one surprising silver lining: due to high gas prices, there is an excess of parking spots at Brigham Young University. Economists expect that parking spots will remain plentiful into the fall semester, prompting administrators to remove parking spots throughout campus. “We plan … Continue reading BYU Administrators Worry as High Gas Prices Lead to Surplus of Parking Spots