In a shocking turn of events, AJ Dybantsa has forgone the NBA draft in favor of returning to BYU as a finance TA. Dybantsa posted the following on LinkedIn this morning: “My time at BYU is not done. NBA contracts might seem appealing, but I could make that money in a single summer selling pest control.” While many NBA fans mourn the decision, summer sales … Continue reading HE’S COMING HOME: AJ Dybantsa Returns To BYU As Finance TA
In a beautiful display of consideration for the gay community at BYU, the HCO has updated the grooming standards to allow gay students to have a fake significant other of the opposite sex—otherwise known as a beard. “This whole time, I thought I wasn’t allowed to fake date my lesbian friend without a beard card,” said gay student John Gay. “I’m so glad we can … Continue reading BYU Clarifies Honor Code to Allow “Beards” for Gay Students
The criteria for assuming the role of BYU’s beloved mascot is no joke. Here’s what you would have to do, ranked from easiest to most difficult. Disarm a Bomb Fight an Cougar and Win Talk to a Woman Treat a Ute Fan With Respect Make a Fursona Be Between 5’9” and 6’ It’s a challenging job to fill, but fill it BYU must. … Continue reading Cosmo Tryout Requirements LEAKED! See What You’d Have to Do to Get This Coveted Role
Citing a need to adapt to the modern technologies of the day, the Church has recently announced that rather than conducting solemn assemblies through raising of the right hand, it will now be conducted with iClicker remotes. The cost of these remotes can be deducted from tithing Will Taylor, a self-proclaimed “finance bro” wearing a sleeveless puffer jacket, had only this to say on … Continue reading Solemn Assembly To Be Conducted Through iClicker Software
Spring has sprung on BYU campus, and in preparation for the May flowers, BYU is implementing a new and unprecedented policy. At 11 am on Thursday morning, BYU administration made the announcement that computer science students will be officially allowed to shower for all of the month of April “We’re always looking for opportunities for our students to experience new things,” says BYU president C. … Continue reading April Showers! BYU To Allow CS Majors To Shower Again For The Month Of April
