Category: General Conference

Church, Featured, General Conference

‘Thank You for Watching General Conference’ Message to be Delivered by Half-Naked Sydney Sweeney

After each morning session of General Conference, the Church airs a message inviting first-time viewers to come learn more. This time around, they elected for a more direct approach than the usual sister missionary can offer. We were able to overhear part of the message as it was being filmed on Friday. “Hey. You enjoy the show? If you like what you see, be sure … Continue reading ‘Thank You for Watching General Conference’ Message to be Delivered by Half-Naked Sydney Sweeney

Don CheadleLeave a comment
General Conference, Life, News

Big Fat Liar Claims He Watched All of General Conference at Testimony Meeting

In a grotesque display of dishonesty and pride, local man Braxton Williams claimed over the pulpit during his testimony today to have watched every speaker in General Conference. During his testimony, which lasted 20 minutes, Braxton allegedly claimed, among other things, that he “enjoyed every single speaker last weekend,” a phrase which drew audible gasps from the congregation. “I knew he was lying when he … Continue reading Big Fat Liar Claims He Watched All of General Conference at Testimony Meeting

Chuck Bartowski1 Comment
Featured, General Conference

President Oaks to Announce Winners of Raffle Instead of Temples

Have you been telling your bishop the truth about your full tithing payments? Good news, you’ve been entered into a Church-wide raffle! Here’s what you might win.   Tour of the Church’s Nuclear Bunker One sip of coffee no consequences FastPass Line Access for Salt Lake Temple Open House All Expenses Paid Vacation to Adam-ondi-Ahman Meet and Greet with Patrick Kearon Early Access to New … Continue reading President Oaks to Announce Winners of Raffle Instead of Temples

Montresor
Featured, General Conference, News

General Authorities Have a Final Four Watch Party in the Conference Center

President Oaks expects that his perfect bracket (inspired by revelation) will continue with tonight’s Michigan x Arizona game.    Since his call as the prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, President Dallin H. Oaks has already implemented various policy changes. One of those changes occurred a few months ago, when the First Presidency of the church announced that the Saturday Evening … Continue reading General Authorities Have a Final Four Watch Party in the Conference Center

Swedish Chef
Featured, General Conference

Another Silent Exchange Between the General Conference Organists

A glance. A touch. A longing. A love. A secret desperate to break free. A desire to jump and a debilitating fear of the fall. A deep dream and the looming threat of sunrise. A boundless love carried by hands in chains. A year after they first came to understand the love they share, the organists playing alongside the choir today now maintain a second, … Continue reading Another Silent Exchange Between the General Conference Organists

Don Cheadle