Category: General Conference

General Conference

Solemn Assembly To Be Conducted Through iClicker Software

Citing a need to adapt to the modern technologies of the day, the Church has recently announced that rather than conducting solemn assemblies through raising of the right hand, it will now be conducted with iClicker remotes. The cost of these remotes can be deducted from tithing   Will Taylor, a self-proclaimed “finance bro” wearing a sleeveless puffer jacket, had only this to say on … Continue reading Solemn Assembly To Be Conducted Through iClicker Software

Montresor
Featured, General Conference, News

TABCATS’ Mustache Man is People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2025

Today, People Magazine released the news. To no one’s surprise (but everyone’s delight) the TABCATS’ Mustache Man is People’s Sexiest Man Alive, 2025. Mustache Man has been stealing hearts from stage-right-and-front of the TABCATS tenor section for years, conference after conference, but his reach has spread across all of America. His runner-up, Glenn Powell, contacted the Alternate Universe, saying: “I wanted to make sure the … Continue reading TABCATS’ Mustache Man is People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2025

Twitchy the Squirrel
conference, General Conference

President Oaks Kind of Nervy for New Calling

In the recent whirlwind of events and changes in the church, Latter Day Saints are particularly concerned about the question “who is Dallin H. Oaks?”, but few are asking “how is Dallin H. Oaks?” In an exclusive interview with President Oaks, he expressed: “I’ve had a lot of big jobs in my life, but this one is def gonna be my biggest. I mean, no … Continue reading President Oaks Kind of Nervy for New Calling

Marceline Abadeer
Featured, General Conference

Elder Rasband Seen Writing Entire Conference Talk Last Minute

Having seemingly procrastinated until the day before General Conference weekend, a panicked Elder Ronald A. Rasband has been spotted trying to crank out his entire talk in one night. “general conferenfce talk ~20 mintues make it sounds like not ai pls thansk,” Rasband was seen typing into ChatGPT around 6:00 on Friday night. Every General Conference speaker is expected to submit a copy of their … Continue reading Elder Rasband Seen Writing Entire Conference Talk Last Minute

Don Cheadle