Hang up your ties and put down your scriptures because, ladies and gentlemen, you will never be as good as him. Best just put your dreams of celestial glory on the shelf :/ We know the gospel is all about second chances but YEESH. You’d have a lot to catch up on to beat this guy, and that’s just way too much work. Best keep … Continue reading Better Than You: This Guy Said “Ahmen” Instead of “Amen”
From new hymns to tank top permission, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is on a mission to make church less boring. This week, the Church announced that instead of having a regular second-hour block, members will watch a series of 30-second Reels that go over the weekly Come Follow Me. President Dallin H. Oaks explained: “With the increase of dumb commentary and … Continue reading Breaking: Second Hour Church Meetings Will Now Be Condensed Into Short-Form Reels For Audience Retention
Sacrament Meeting absences rose sharply this past Sunday due to the “Spring Forward” effect of Daylight Savings. Thousands of students showed up to church just in time for the second hour, much to their consternation. The back rows of several wards were filled to the brim with people who would leave as soon as the first speaker stood up. Andrew Leavitt, a student with 5pm … Continue reading Campus in Spiritual Crisis! Sacrament Meeting Absences Skyrocket Due to Daylight Savings
