A whopping $1 million lawsuit was filed against the BYU President for having the audacity to use his last name.

 

Tensions have been high ever since a formal lawsuit was filed against Shane Reese last Friday for copyright infringement of the name “Reese.” 

Nate Butters, the H.B, Reese Candy Company public relations representative, noted, “We were alerted to the situation as soon as we saw an article about President and Sister Reese, referred to as ‘the Reeses,’ who were speaking at a devotional together. The copyright issues were so apparent, it was appalling.”

 

What completely put the copyright concerns over the edge is when the BYU creamery unveiled a new peanut butter and chocolate “Reese’s Ice Cream” flavor, named after Shane Reese. 

 

Bob Reese, the founder of Reese’s, stated, “We found that when students at BYU say ‘Reese’s’, they’re 90% more likely to be talking about the university president, rather than our candy. It’s affected .001% of our sales, that we just can’t afford to lose.” 

 

“These allegations are ridiculous!” said President Reese. “I’m taking Reese’s out of our university’s vending machines, and I’m calling for a BYU Reese’s boycott! Anyone seen eating a Reese’s bar on campus will be tased on sight and dragged to the honor-code office.”

 

Negotiations for an out-of-court settlement are underway. One proposed resolution includes a nationally televised fist fight between Shane Reese and H. Bob Reese, to be held in LaVell Edwards Stadium and refereed by Cosmo the Cougar.