Category: Campus

Campus

BYU announces campus shutdown to begin this weekend

The number of COVID-19 cases have been rising despite the promises students made to be safe, smart, and to follow the regulations that had been set. Because of the recent outbreaks, BYU has just announced their decision to switch fully to remote learning. “It’s really sad that we have to do this,” said Karen Winters, BYU coronavirus specialist. “We were hopeful that we would be … Continue reading BYU announces campus shutdown to begin this weekend

Gail Black
Manspread
Campus

BYU Student Thanks Pandemic for Allowing Him to “Manspread”

McCabe McKellar, a 21 year-old BYU student, posted a video tribute to COVID-19 on Instagram earlier today. In the tribute he thanked COVID-19 and the global pandemic for allowing him to manspread anywhere he goes. He said that this crisis has changed his life for the better: “So many new opportunities have opened up for me! I can manspread on the bus, at airports, and … Continue reading BYU Student Thanks Pandemic for Allowing Him to “Manspread”

Cameron Frye
Campus

Study Shows that BYU Students Always Wear a Mask and Social Distance, Unless It’s Too Hard

A BYU study revealed some troublesome statistics concerning student’s mask-wearing and social distancing habits.  Seventy percent of students surveyed stated that they would not wear masks in the following situations: They forgot their mask at home They have a medical condition that affects their breathing They thought they could get away with claiming to have a medical condition that affects their breathing They just put … Continue reading Study Shows that BYU Students Always Wear a Mask and Social Distance, Unless It’s Too Hard

Albert Camus
Campus

Underground BYU Faculty & Staff Gambling Ring Place Bets on When Campus Will Shutdown

BYU has just completed its first week of classes back on campus this week, and there are already reports of confirmed cases within the campus community. This has many worried that school will be pushed back to remote learning only, where students will be unable to attend some of their classes in person. However, the faculty were quick to take advantage of this opportunity to … Continue reading Underground BYU Faculty & Staff Gambling Ring Place Bets on When Campus Will Shutdown

Art Vandelay
Campus

Plandemic: Helaman Halls Coronavirus Outbreak Faked By Freshman Trying to Avoid Call to Relief Society Presidency

Helaman Halls resident Julia Graves, 18, has admitted to faking a case of the novel coronavirus to avoid getting called as Relief Society President in her new ward. As the result of her self-described “small fib,” the entire third floor of David John Hall was quarantined for fourteen days. “As a 5’9” blonde from Mesa who exclusively wears Piper & Scoot, I knew my risk … Continue reading Plandemic: Helaman Halls Coronavirus Outbreak Faked By Freshman Trying to Avoid Call to Relief Society Presidency

Emil Ratburn III