Category: Campus

Campus

Study Shows that BYU Students Always Wear a Mask and Social Distance, Unless It’s Too Hard

A BYU study revealed some troublesome statistics concerning student’s mask-wearing and social distancing habits.  Seventy percent of students surveyed stated that they would not wear masks in the following situations: They forgot their mask at home They have a medical condition that affects their breathing They thought they could get away with claiming to have a medical condition that affects their breathing They just put … Continue reading Study Shows that BYU Students Always Wear a Mask and Social Distance, Unless It’s Too Hard

Albert Camus
Campus

Underground BYU Faculty & Staff Gambling Ring Place Bets on When Campus Will Shutdown

BYU has just completed its first week of classes back on campus this week, and there are already reports of confirmed cases within the campus community. This has many worried that school will be pushed back to remote learning only, where students will be unable to attend some of their classes in person. However, the faculty were quick to take advantage of this opportunity to … Continue reading Underground BYU Faculty & Staff Gambling Ring Place Bets on When Campus Will Shutdown

Art Vandelay
Campus

Plandemic: Helaman Halls Coronavirus Outbreak Faked By Freshman Trying to Avoid Call to Relief Society Presidency

Helaman Halls resident Julia Graves, 18, has admitted to faking a case of the novel coronavirus to avoid getting called as Relief Society President in her new ward. As the result of her self-described “small fib,” the entire third floor of David John Hall was quarantined for fourteen days. “As a 5’9” blonde from Mesa who exclusively wears Piper & Scoot, I knew my risk … Continue reading Plandemic: Helaman Halls Coronavirus Outbreak Faked By Freshman Trying to Avoid Call to Relief Society Presidency

Emil Ratburn III
Campus

People Behind “Keeping Faith at BYU” Release Manifesto Detailing how BYU Should be Run, Accidentally Recreate BYU Idaho

Keeping Faith at BYU (KFaB) is a self-proclaimed non-profit organization that compiles stories of non-doctrinal indoctrination on Utah’s BYU campus. After several weeks, and nearly 30 posts, the activists behind the account have released a manifesto in which they outline the way that BYU ought to operate.  A KFaB spokesperson said, “The only way to save BYU at this point is for them to follow … Continue reading People Behind “Keeping Faith at BYU” Release Manifesto Detailing how BYU Should be Run, Accidentally Recreate BYU Idaho

Albert Camus
Campus

BYU Grad Couple Thrilled About Cannon Center Take-Out Option: ‘Those Crank Tots Really Slap’

Brigham Young University has announced the Cannon Center’s take-out option in an effort to continue social distancing as the university re-opens. Starting in September, non-meal plan holders will be able to order take-out from the meal hall alongside students who actually depend on the Cannon Center for their meals. Dozens of families have expressed their excitement and relief regarding the announcement. Mary and Winston Matthews, … Continue reading BYU Grad Couple Thrilled About Cannon Center Take-Out Option: ‘Those Crank Tots Really Slap’

Johnny Swift