Early Thursday morning around 1:30 AM BYU President Kevin J Worthen was seen in the nearly empty karaoke club, Heart & Seoul on Center Street. According to witnesses, President Worthen entered the establishment at approximately 10:00 PM on Wednesday night and stayed until the club closed at 2:00 AM. While there President Worthen reportedly sang “Wanted Dead or Alive” by Bon Jovi followed by “Girls … Continue reading President Worthen spotted at Heart & Seoul, Crushes “Africa” by Toto.

After an in depth study, scientists (if psychologists can be called scientists) claim to have proven that the distance someone lives from campus is inversely proportional to how big of a tool they are. In other words, if someone lives close to campus, they’re a pretty big tool. The BYU Psychology Department classified five zones for student housing: south of campus for normal people, west … Continue reading Scientists Prove that Apartment Proximity to Campus is Inversely Proportional to How Big of a Tool You Are

In this week’s letter from the President, BYU has revealed that they are beginning a new initiative called “Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel.” The initiative, in the form of a required app all BYU students must download, is meant to increase BYU students’ engagement with the “BYU experience,” by increasing the amount of homework a student is assigned, based on how much time they … Continue reading BYU Shocked to Find Students Work and Do Activities Outside School, Pledges to Make That Impossible