Early Monday morning, the BYU public relations team was a flurry of activity, fielding calls, hate-mail and twitter death threats after BYU officially announced their newest creamery milk flavor. Chocolate MLK, a dark chocolate milk in a limited release bottle, was announced Sunday night from Brigham Young University. Hoping to continue on their hot streak of unique milk flavors— following the success of favorites like … Continue reading BYU Receives Backlash After Tone-Deaf Release of Limited Edition “Chocolate MLK” Martin Luther King Jr. Flavor

Early Sunday morning, BYU administration officials exchanged a series of panicked phone calls as they realized the promotional materials for the Martin Luther King Day service activities lacked any students of color. “We looked all over campus for a few weeks, but we couldn’t find anyone we hadn’t already used in other promotional materials,” says BYU public outreach director Franklin Rosephelt. While some may be … Continue reading BYU Runs Out of Students of Color for MLK Day Posters

In an effort to “avoid the appearance of evil,” Brigham Young University announced Friday that they had acquired the property where a Starbucks is currently under construction. The popular coffee chain was set to open a restaurant west of campus in the spring, but the university was determined to go to extreme measures to prevent it from happening. Reports say that BYU paid a whopping … Continue reading BYU Purchases Future Starbucks Lot to Prevent Coffee from Creeping Closer to Campus

Tuesday seemed just like another normal day in the Marriott School, but all was not as it appeared. Jace Bringhurst rolled into his Ethics for Management class a healthy fifteen minutes late after a morning shred sesh at Sundance. In fact, he was still wearing his Wind Range Ski Socks from Stance, equipped with Feel360® Fiber Technology. But he did have time to put on … Continue reading Finance Professor Scolds Student for Removing AirPods® During Class

Homecoming celebrations for recently returned missionary Braxten Jones were brought to an abrupt halt when the young man was met with an unexpected blow. While walking by the refreshments table, Jones saw his reflection in the punch bowl. To his surprise, he was still Caucasian. “I was shocked,” he said. “After two years in Mexico I thought I was practically a native. I have a … Continue reading RM ‘Shocked’ to Find He’s Still White After Return from Foreign Mission, Starts Support Group