Category: Life

Featured, Life, News, Uncategorized

Church Leaders Finally Define “Passionate Kissing”

In the For Strength of Youth pamphlet, the church directs: “before marriage, do not participate in passionate kissing”. For years, this counsel has left righteous Latter-Day Saint youths and young adults scratching their heads- what qualifies as “passionate kissing”? This morning, the First Presidency released a statement clarifying the Lord’s stance on kissing before marriage. It marked the first official instruction regarding chastity within the … Continue reading Church Leaders Finally Define “Passionate Kissing”

Lisa Simpson
Life

Utah Lake Monster Behind “Don’t Pave Utah Lake”

The Alternate Universe uncovered a shocking secret this morning through their very serious journalism efforts. The real force behind the movement “Don’t Pave Utah Lake” is actually the notorious Utah Lake Monster. The Utah Lake Monster, otherwise known as Greggg, was spotted this morning leaving the lake to go to a Conserve Utah Valley meeting. The runner who spotted Greggg this morning, Jeff Smith, agreed … Continue reading Utah Lake Monster Behind “Don’t Pave Utah Lake”

Sister Michael
Featured, Life

Elder Murray from ‘The District’ Finally Becomes a Blue Chair

Everyone’s favorite goofball from The District series, Elder Murray, finally had his lifelong dream come true. “I know I received this blessing in my life because I have been a righteous servant of the Lord,” Elder Murray said. “I can’t think a greater eternal blessing than becoming a blue chair…wait.” As all cultural missionaries know, The District is a series shown to all greenies in training … Continue reading Elder Murray from ‘The District’ Finally Becomes a Blue Chair

Bobby Zimmeruski
Life, News

Batpoleon Manamite Wins Oscar for Best Picture

“It is easily the best day of my life,” says Jon Heder, who has four children and a wife. When asked about his character, Batpoleon Manamite, he responded, “He’s got bowhunting skills, nunchuck skills, and computer hacking skills. Gotham City wants a guy with skills,” directly quoting a line from the movie. We asked Deb what her favorite line was. “I don’t know, but I … Continue reading Batpoleon Manamite Wins Oscar for Best Picture

Renesmee
Life

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson visits Polynesian Cultural Center

This week former professional wrestler and blockbuster movie star, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, visited the Polynesian Cultural Center on Oahu. He visited the center with family. Johnson is half-Samoan and was welcomed with a celebration of his ancestry. The Polynesian Cultural Center is owned by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and is located near the Laie Hawaii Temple and BYU-Hawaii, from which … Continue reading Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson visits Polynesian Cultural Center

Cameron Frye1 Comment