Do you guys remember all of your friends from high school who weren’t as good as you and didn’t get into BYU? Well if they haven’t left the church by now, you can find them at BYU-Idaho! We sent our investigative reporter, DeDuce Información, to Rexburg this past week to check up on these prodigal sons and daughters. Let’s take a look at the recent … Continue reading What’s Going on in Rexburg?
Earlier this week Sarah West, one of BYU’s three nonmember students, filed a restraining order against two Provo missionaries. The decision was a long time in the making following various text messages, cookie drop-offs, and mid-afternoon visits from the overzealous companions. “I must have twelve copies of the Book of Mormon by now,” an upset Sarah told The Alternate Universe in an exclusive interview. She … Continue reading Nonmember BYU Student Files Restraining Order Against Missionaries
A certain disease is plaguing our campus. What is it, you say? The NCMO. Our youth (who are somehow of adult age) are at a terrible risk of getting NCMOed. Here is the complete, comprehensive guide to avoiding the dreaded NCMO. #1 Talk solely about your mission, especially if your date didn’t serve one. #2 Wear Trump merch and play rap music. Or wear Bernie … Continue reading How to Avoid a NCMO
This week, BYU administration became aware of a new trend sweeping the nation. Everyone is talking about “marinating” and how they do it all the time. The practice began at BYU and quickly spread to other universities. Sophomore Brigham Braxton and his friends started doing it at Lake Powell over Labor Day weekend, and figured they could do it at BYU, too. “I just thought … Continue reading “Marinating”: The new sensation that’s sweeping the nation
A long time skeptic of modern miracles, BYU sophomore Sophie Roberts was hesitant to believe any holy influence involving anything from car keys to inexplicable medical recoveries. She never directly accused others of fabricating their stories, but silently carried her belief that they were doing it for attention. Before the start of the Fall 2021 semester, Sophie moved into apartment 144 of her building and … Continue reading “Park to Damascus” – Student is Forever Changed By Not Having Her Car Towed
