Tag: BYU

Life

Utah Jazz Lead Online Temple Prayer Roll Submissions

Last week the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced that members could submit names online for the prayer roll at the temple. Today they have released the results of the most submitted names. Leading the way are members of the Utah Jazz and Zach Wilson, the quarterback for BYU’s football team. Many people are asking for prayers for the Jazz in the playoffs. … Continue reading Utah Jazz Lead Online Temple Prayer Roll Submissions

Cameron Frye
Campus

Plandemic: Helaman Halls Coronavirus Outbreak Faked By Freshman Trying to Avoid Call to Relief Society Presidency

Helaman Halls resident Julia Graves, 18, has admitted to faking a case of the novel coronavirus to avoid getting called as Relief Society President in her new ward. As the result of her self-described “small fib,” the entire third floor of David John Hall was quarantined for fourteen days. “As a 5’9” blonde from Mesa who exclusively wears Piper & Scoot, I knew my risk … Continue reading Plandemic: Helaman Halls Coronavirus Outbreak Faked By Freshman Trying to Avoid Call to Relief Society Presidency

Emil Ratburn III
Campus

People Behind “Keeping Faith at BYU” Release Manifesto Detailing how BYU Should be Run, Accidentally Recreate BYU Idaho

Keeping Faith at BYU (KFaB) is a self-proclaimed non-profit organization that compiles stories of non-doctrinal indoctrination on Utah’s BYU campus. After several weeks, and nearly 30 posts, the activists behind the account have released a manifesto in which they outline the way that BYU ought to operate.  A KFaB spokesperson said, “The only way to save BYU at this point is for them to follow … Continue reading People Behind “Keeping Faith at BYU” Release Manifesto Detailing how BYU Should be Run, Accidentally Recreate BYU Idaho

Albert Camus
Campus

BYU Grad Couple Thrilled About Cannon Center Take-Out Option: ‘Those Crank Tots Really Slap’

Brigham Young University has announced the Cannon Center’s take-out option in an effort to continue social distancing as the university re-opens. Starting in September, non-meal plan holders will be able to order take-out from the meal hall alongside students who actually depend on the Cannon Center for their meals. Dozens of families have expressed their excitement and relief regarding the announcement. Mary and Winston Matthews, … Continue reading BYU Grad Couple Thrilled About Cannon Center Take-Out Option: ‘Those Crank Tots Really Slap’

Johnny Swift
Campus

BYU COVID Tracing App to Play Ute Fight Song Whenever Students Get Too Close

In an effort to encourage social distancing, BYU has approved a modification to the “Healthy Together” contract tracing app. According to sources, the app will play the University of Utah fight song whenever students are detected within 6 feet of each other. “We did a little research and figured out that the most effective way to keep students away from each other was to play … Continue reading BYU COVID Tracing App to Play Ute Fight Song Whenever Students Get Too Close

Donald Cherry