BYU Grad Couple Thrilled About Cannon Center Take-Out Option: ‘Those Crank Tots Really Slap’

Brigham Young University has announced the Cannon Center’s take-out option in an effort to continue social distancing as the university re-opens. Starting in September, non-meal plan holders will be able to order take-out from the meal hall alongside students who actually depend on the Cannon Center for their meals. Dozens of families have expressed their excitement and relief regarding the announcement. Mary and Winston Matthews, … Continue reading BYU Grad Couple Thrilled About Cannon Center Take-Out Option: ‘Those Crank Tots Really Slap’

BYU COVID Tracing App to Play Ute Fight Song Whenever Students Get Too Close

In an effort to encourage social distancing, BYU has approved a modification to the “Healthy Together” contract tracing app. According to sources, the app will play the University of Utah fight song whenever students are detected within 6 feet of each other. “We did a little research and figured out that the most effective way to keep students away from each other was to play … Continue reading BYU COVID Tracing App to Play Ute Fight Song Whenever Students Get Too Close

BYU professors quit over the lack of prevention promises

Along with many teachers resigning all over Utah, 82% of BYU professors have announced their resignation in the past week. The majority of them have cited the lack of an unbreakable vow to never contract COVID-19 as the main reason for their resignation. Not having such a binding oath in place was apparently a huge safety hazard. “I don’t think masks are really necessary,” said … Continue reading BYU professors quit over the lack of prevention promises

Alternate Universe So Much More Successful, Wealthy, Liked Than Daily Universe That They Can Afford Billboard

The Daily Universe, a controversial BYU news publication recently flagged for exploiting free student labor, has allegedly been struggling to find relevance in the 21st century. Although the legacy organization has made leaps in distributing news content through digital channels, critics note that The Universe has slowly slipped behind its major competitor, The Alternate Universe. This fact became painfully obvious on Monday when The Alternate … Continue reading Alternate Universe So Much More Successful, Wealthy, Liked Than Daily Universe That They Can Afford Billboard

BYU Football Team to Join Pop Warner Little League for 2020 Season

BYU Athletic Director Tom Holmoe announced today that BYU will be playing a full fall football schedule against a collection of Pop Warner Little League teams from Utah Valley. “It seems that the most important thing is that the team plays a full season and we see a good opportunity to do so by making a change in our schedule for the upcoming year.” said … Continue reading BYU Football Team to Join Pop Warner Little League for 2020 Season