Tag: Featured

Campus, Featured

BYU Police employs military-grade solutions for jaywalkers and grass-walking students

I want you to close your eyes and think to yourself right now: What is the worst part about BYU? Come on, do it. I don’t see those eyes closed. There we go, nice job. You can open your eyes. What did you say was the worst part about BYU? Did you say the people? American Heritage? Economics with Professor Kearl? Not being able to … Continue reading BYU Police employs military-grade solutions for jaywalkers and grass-walking students

Bobby Zimmeruski
Life

Foresttree Kicks Students out for “Bad Vibes”

Has the vibe check gone too far? Popular Provo apartment complex Foresttree has been evicting its tenets with little to no notice for having “bad vibes.” The Alternate Universe has launched an investigation of this issue and conducted thorough interviews of all parties involved. Manager Chad Bryson claims that Foresttree’s actions are justified. “BYU has their Honor Code. We have our Coolness Code. It’s not … Continue reading Foresttree Kicks Students out for “Bad Vibes”

Sister Michael
Campus, News, President Worthen

Cosmo and Cosma Relationship in Jeopardy After Conflict Over Cosma’s Pet Rock

BYU’s favorite celebrity couple, Cosmo and Cosma cougars, are reportedly going through a rough patch. The couple’s recent issues have been attributed to conflict around Cosma’s new pet rock, Rocco. “You can’t have that cookie, Cosmo, Rocco wants to eat it!” Cosma was heard shouting after Cosmo’s alleged attempt to eat an oatmeal raisin cookie. This is breaking news as, along with the celebrity couple … Continue reading Cosmo and Cosma Relationship in Jeopardy After Conflict Over Cosma’s Pet Rock

Carmen Sandeigo
Campus, Featured, News, President Worthen

Kevin Worthen releases diss-track directed at Pete Davidson titled, “Called to Serve (Some Bars)”

As covered in previous articles, Peggy Worthen and Pete Davidson have been spotted multiple times together on campus. This has caused quite a ruckus in the local community that even your grandma is asking who is “Pat and David’s Son.” BYU President and renowned pole-licker Kevin Worthen has finally responded to the rumors of Davidson’s escapades in the only way he knows how – song. … Continue reading Kevin Worthen releases diss-track directed at Pete Davidson titled, “Called to Serve (Some Bars)”

Bobby Zimmeruski
Life

Kidnapped Newly-Weds’ Ransom Video Mistaken for First Look Video

When Ammon Marshall’s kidnapper posted a video of him on Facebook with his soon-to-be wife, Ash Leigh Kimball, his parents were thrilled. “It was the most beautiful first-look video I’ve ever seen.” Ammon’s mom said. The couple’s friends and family demonstrated support for their situation in the comments section. Ash Leigh’s grandma commented “The most beautiful couple! So happy for you two!” and Ammon’s mission … Continue reading Kidnapped Newly-Weds’ Ransom Video Mistaken for First Look Video

Nance