A certain disease is plaguing our campus. What is it, you say? The NCMO. Our youth (who are somehow of adult age) are at a terrible risk of getting NCMOed. Here is the complete, comprehensive guide to avoiding the dreaded NCMO. #1 Talk solely about your mission, especially if your date didn’t serve one. #2 Wear Trump merch and play rap music. Or wear Bernie … Continue reading How to Avoid a NCMO
As many students have noticed, BYU’s Courgareat has limited hours and services this semester due to staffing shortages. The Cougareat has tried several solutions to the problem, including temporarily closing stores and limiting menus. These attempts have had varying levels of success, but they believe that they have finally hit on the best alternative. The Honor Code is a notorious part of attending BYU, and … Continue reading Cougareat to Partner with HCO to Fix Staffing Shortages
This week, BYU administration became aware of a new trend sweeping the nation. Everyone is talking about “marinating” and how they do it all the time. The practice began at BYU and quickly spread to other universities. Sophomore Brigham Braxton and his friends started doing it at Lake Powell over Labor Day weekend, and figured they could do it at BYU, too. “I just thought … Continue reading “Marinating”: The new sensation that’s sweeping the nation
After BYU’s announcement, that starting next August, BYU students will no longer be required to live in BYU-approved housing, members of the Provo-centric tenant union decided to mark the occasion. Their festivities were cut short by the natural enemy of the Union—the Landlord. “We just wanted to do something fun for once,” said one partygoer. “Crack open a pack of apple beer, recite some of … Continue reading BYU Tenants Union Celebration Cut Short By Landlord After Noise Complaint
Recent reports from students and faculty alike allege that there is a vigilante figure cutting holes in the kneecaps of pants. Their identity and motives remain unknown. We interviewed Jason Peters, a recent victim, at a nearby Walmart. “I had to stay home for a week when my only pants were cut, I felt so dirty showing my kneecaps in public,” says Jason Peters, a … Continue reading Anti-Honor Code Vigilante Cuts Holes in Jeans
