Already hate the classes you are in this semester? Take your mind off your terrible previous life decisions and think about the future! Here are the top 5 classes you need to take next semester to fill the insatiable void that consumes your soul. #5 CHEM 350 – Non-GMO, 85% Lean, Grass-Fed Organic Chemistry Everyone’s favorite class, Organic Chemistry, gets a more environmentally friendly upgrade … Continue reading Top 5 Classes to take next semester
Halloween is a favorite time of year for BYU students. “Spooky season” is jam-packed with fall adventures, such as pumpkin patches, corn mazes, hay-rides, and of course, haunted houses. While many if not most of these activities are wholesome and recreational, the BYU administration is becoming increasingly concerned with how the adversary’s influence might be heightened during this eerie time. To keep students on the … Continue reading BYU Puts on Sin-Themed Haunted House to Scare Students Straight
You may remember Studio C and Dwight in Shining Armor, but these shows have been canceled for being “too immature”. In their place, there will be new shows catered to the modern BYU student. “We realized that many students find no interest in watching BYUtv, so we shifted our target audience from sheltered bubble people to the type of freshmen you see on BYU Barstool,” … Continue reading BYUtv Announces New Show Lineup
The BYU Wilkinson Center is mainly known to function as a center on campus for studying, eating, and ignoring booths of solicitors. But under the innocent mirage of a student center lies another sinister purpose: a prison. Many have noticed the daily disturbance coming from a pianist at the center of the Wilk. What they might not know, is that this infamous pianist quite literally … Continue reading Wilkinson Piano Player Actually Chained Against His Will
The university intends to complete the “Cougar Game,” in which students will compete for parking spots, before the start of next semester. After years of failed attempts of fixing the parking situation by promoting public transportation, charging for parking, and hiring more parking enforcers, BYU officials believe that they have finally come up with a foolproof plan. “It’s very simple,” said a nameless, faceless university … Continue reading BYU Announces Solution to Parking Scarcity on Campus
