Category: Featured

Campus, Featured

Local BYU Simps Create First Ever Fraternity, fittingly named “Beta Beta Beta”

Historically, Fraternities and Sororities are not something that BYU gladly accepts at their school. But the minute you get some approval-seeking males involved, you’ve caught their attention. For the first time in the school’s history, BYU is allowing a fraternity to be officially recognized as a legitimate organization. But trust us, this is not your typical degenerate fraternity. “Beta Beta Beta” is a fraternity focused … Continue reading Local BYU Simps Create First Ever Fraternity, fittingly named “Beta Beta Beta”

Bobby Zimmeruski1 Comment
Campus, Featured

Top 5 Classes to take next semester

Already hate the classes you are in this semester? Take your mind off your terrible previous life decisions and think about the future! Here are the top 5 classes you need to take next semester to fill the insatiable void that consumes your soul. #5 CHEM 350 – Non-GMO, 85% Lean, Grass-Fed Organic Chemistry Everyone’s favorite class, Organic Chemistry, gets a more environmentally friendly upgrade … Continue reading Top 5 Classes to take next semester

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, Featured, Life

BYU Puts on Sin-Themed Haunted House to Scare Students Straight

Halloween is a favorite time of year for BYU students. “Spooky season” is jam-packed with fall adventures, such as pumpkin patches, corn mazes, hay-rides, and of course, haunted houses. While many if not most of these activities are wholesome and recreational, the BYU administration is becoming increasingly concerned with how the adversary’s influence might be heightened during this eerie time. To keep students on the … Continue reading BYU Puts on Sin-Themed Haunted House to Scare Students Straight

Lisa Simpson
Featured, Sports

Elder Oaks Beats President Nelson in Fantasy Football, Demoted to an Area Seventy

In an unexpected turn of events Elder Oaks, shocked the world and beat previously undefeated President Nelson in the Fantasy Football this past week. As a result of his sin, President Nelson immediately revoked Elder Oaks’ apostolic authority and gave him the ‘Tim Tebow’ of callings – Local Area Seventy. This was an unsurprising decision by our Prophet because everyone knows the cardinal rule of … Continue reading Elder Oaks Beats President Nelson in Fantasy Football, Demoted to an Area Seventy

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, Featured

Tragic: Young Student in Three Day Long Testing Center Line Dies in the Elements

As mid-term season comes into full swing, students are anxiously lining up for a seat in the holy of holies of the most sacred building on BYU campus- the testing center. With so many students taking scheduled tests at the same time, the line has been seen stretching all the way down Provo Canyon. “I knew that getting into the testing center was at least … Continue reading Tragic: Young Student in Three Day Long Testing Center Line Dies in the Elements

Lisa Simpson