BREAKING: BYU Cancels Fall Semester Following Holy War Loss

BYU President Kevin Worthen made a startling announcement early Friday morning, cancelling all classes previously scheduled for the Fall 2019 semester due to BYU’s 30-12 loss to the University of Utah.

“We feel that our students and faculty need time to move through all stages of grief before we can seriously consider getting back to their studies.” says Worthen, “We’re trying to be sensitive to the needs of everyone here at BYU and we feel that it’s best if we all take a few months off and come back fresh in January.”

While the end result of Thursday’s game was a disappointment to BYU fans everywhere, some see the university’s response as a positive indication of university leadership’s willingness to listen to the needs of students.

“It makes me think that if they’re willing to cancel an entire semester over a football game, maybe this is a sign that they’ll be more attentive to other areas that need attention.” commented BYU student Carol Weeks.

When asked if this decision was a sign of an increased responsiveness to other student activist causes President Worthen stared directly at the reporter asking the question for 37 seconds then whispered “No.”

One thought on “BREAKING: BYU Cancels Fall Semester Following Holy War Loss

  1. Only one senester? Entirely too insensitive! Defund BYU!! Withhold tithing! Adam Fletcher for Dean!!

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