Enraged BYU Students Continue to Not Read The Universe in Response to Scandal

President Worthen’s investigation of The Universe yesterday marked the latest twist in an increasingly damning saga of exploitation, abuse, and fake news. The administration has yet to officially condemn The Universe for exploiting unpaid student labor, which may indicate just how deep this scandal goes.

In spite of this, several grassroots movements have begun taking matters into their own hands by organizing protests. As a sign of solidarity with those affected by the scandal, many have chosen to boycott The Universe by refusing to read it. Luckily, according to a recent poll conducted by The Alternate Universe, less than 1% of the student body has ever read through an entire article from The Universe, so protestors have not had to change much. Several crowds also began to chant “Down with the system, let anarchy reign,” presumably in reference to the systemic failure this scandal represents.

As cognizance of recent events increases, these anti-authority sentiments are only expected to become more pervasive. Already, many have begun to disregard the law, and even the honor code, to show their discontent with “the system.” A society of tax evaders has already sprung up in the basement of the Talmage building, and movie pirating clubs are beginning to meet regularly on the second and a half floor of the JKB. We attempted to reach out to the latter group for comment, but couldn’t figure out how to find the half floors and had to give up.

It remains to be seen how school officials will respond to this new movement, but it seems many would not trust an official response at this point in time. The BYU student body reportedly will not stop until their demands for a new, uncorrupted news source are met.