For years, scholars have debated the motive behind BYU’s male dress and grooming standards. Recently, mustached men have confirmed speculations about the mystical power that exudes from their facial hair.

Walking across our beloved BYU campus, you might notice a man with impressive whiskers pass by. This mustached man will be one of many to cross your path. What is the source of this phenomenon, you might wonder? It is our duty to solve this mystery.

Kristoff Cercado, an advertising major, humbly shared his insight. “I feel like everyone grew a mustache because of me.”

On a more profound level, some students have expressed speculations about the mystical power that exudes from their facial hair. “The key to success, to making a lasting impact, is found in the follicles of the upper lip” stated Jakeryn Merchán, a senior English major. “Think of the great authors of history, Mark Twain, Edgar Allen Poe, even Dr. Seuss. What do they all have in common? It’s the ‘stache’”

While the power of the mustache seems to be correlated with academic success and imaginative thinking, some have even claimed that it possesses divine power.

“When I feel the seed of a good idea coming on, my mustache starts to tingle—it’s like a spidey sense,” says sophomore Danman Facerr, who lovingly named his mustache “George Washington Carver”.

Subjects admit that their motivations to grow out their facial follicles are both carnal and spiritual. Despite their intentions, however, the strong correlation between the creative and academic abilities of these men and their beloved facial hair is uncanny.

“Chicks dig it. The mustache is power. When you use it to its fullest potential, it can land you some extraordinary deals and awards,” said Kristoff Cercado.