How To Soft Launch That You’re a Liberal

Nothing is fun without a hint of mystery or suspense. Enter the soft launch — the not-quite-official, not-quite-secret strategy of introducing a new fact about yourself. With Pride month in full swing, here are some subtle ways to show your true colors.

  1. Wear a rainbow WWJD bracelet
    A subtle way to flaunt your political beliefs while also reprimanding small-minded haters. You are a follower of Jesus Christ, and Jesus loves liberals, too. 
  2. Refer to your spouse as your partner.
    Sprinkle this into conversations to righteously prove that you don’t assume anyone’s gender or sexual orientation
  3. Strategically place stickers on your water bottle
    Hint that you are a passionate anti-conservative by placing stickers where people might see them
  4. Hold the door closed for a woman
    Support modern gender equality by holding the door closed for a woman. That way she will have to fight to open it, after which she will feel like she truly defeated the patriarchy.
  5. Watch Drag Race All-Stars loudly in your room
    “Accidentally” let your roommates hear RuPaul on full blast
  6. Announce that you are boycotting Chick-fil-A
    Prove where your loyalty lies by eliminating your support for small-minded businesses (you don’t actually have to boycott them, you just have to say you are)

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