Campus

BYU Student Soils Himself in HBLL

As students prepare for finals, the library approaches full capacity almost daily. BYU is home to over 30,000 undergraduate students, and with this kind of population density, it can be hard to get the most coveted seats in the library. The personal cubicles on the first and second floor are of particular popularity, as they give the overcrowded student not only a feeling of seclusion, but a much-needed whiteboard.

On Monday, December 8th, Evan Barnett reflected on the stroke of luck he was enjoying to have seized a cubicle on the 2nd floor of the library. Not only were finals fast approaching, BYU’s fall enrollment had climbed once more, and the library rarely had cubicles to offer. As he basked in the idyllic moment of being able to write an equation on his very own whiteboard, he suddenly heard a very loud fart.

“It was so loud. And so smelly,” described Evan, who looked pale and shell-shocked.
He looked up to see a student waddling towards the nearest bathroom. Not wanting to abandon his seat, he decided to wait until the smell faded and continue working, but it unfortunately did not fade. After twenty minutes, the student came back, and Evan, horrified by the situation and not wanting to be in the vicinity of such a stench for much longer, decided to confront the perpetrator.
“I have gone days without being able to secure a cubicle, and don’t want to give it up. Sorry for the inconvenience,” the perpetrator replied. “Oh, also, do you know if the vending machines sell diapers?”
So Evan, at a loss, left for a subpar spot in the reading room to complete his studies for the day.