Author: Don Cheadle

Campus, Featured

Things That Smell Better Than the Stinky Campus Pear Trees

Callery pear trees are known for yielding inedible pears and smelling like gross fish, so naturally, they are all over campus. Here are but a few of the many things that you would be better off smelling instead. Campus Microwave at Lunchtime Helaman Halls Dorm Room Used Wilk Bowling Shoes Computer Science Student Expired Vending Machine Sandwich MARB Auditorium After a Physics Class Continue reading Things That Smell Better Than the Stinky Campus Pear Trees

Don Cheadle
Campus, Featured, Life

Looksmaxxer Clavicular Brutally Frame-Mogged by Barefoot Cosmo

Sorry, Clavvy. You mess with the cat, you’ve gotta go toe-to-toe with the dawgs. “I can’t believe a misogymaxxed moidslop chudcel like him would even jestergoon around a cougarpilled canthal tilt like Cosmo’s. Enjoy that career-ending cortisol spike, bud,” said onlooker John Volcel. Clavicular was unable to comment as he was busy crying in the corner of the Milk & Cookies lounge. Barefoot Cosmo, stoic … Continue reading Looksmaxxer Clavicular Brutally Frame-Mogged by Barefoot Cosmo

Don Cheadle
Campus, Featured

What Would Happen if BYU Upheld the 9 Accidental Acceptance Letters

Recently, BYU sent acceptance letters to 9,879 freshman applicants. A week later, nine of them were told that theirs were an accident, and that they would not be able to attend BYU. Here’s why BYU could not afford to let these nine students attend despite the error.   Famine With nearly 40,000 students already enrolled at BYU Provo, food can be hard to come by. … Continue reading What Would Happen if BYU Upheld the 9 Accidental Acceptance Letters

Don Cheadle
Uncategorized

An Open Love Letter to the Daily Universe

Dear The Daily Universe, We haven’t always seen eye to eye. You’ve judged us for reporting the raw truth and we’ve judged you for fabricating your own. But we’re tired of fighting. We’re tired of running from our feelings. We’re not kids anymore, The Daily Universe. We’re student newspaper organizations now. And that means we have to take some responsibility. We’ve been around for nine … Continue reading An Open Love Letter to the Daily Universe

Don Cheadle