Author: Renesmee

Ever since coming of age at age 7, Renesmee has been delightfully working at the Alternate Universe. She is from Highland, Utah, and she enjoys dancing, singing, hiking, reading, and blood. Renesmee is majoring in Computer Science with a minor in French because her name is supposedly French. In her spare time, she enjoys long walks on the beach with Jacob, which is not weird at all. Here's a video of her from a few years ago: https://youtu.be/UyuIcE7P6_A After graduation, Renesmee plans to get a PhD in estheticianing and an MD in plastic surgery. Want to steal her look? She will open a practice in Los Angeles. Renesmee is a mother of four dogs and one goldfish, all named Ethyl.
BYU Voices, Campus, Featured, Life, News

Gov. Cox Beats Up Intruder with a Broom—Turns Out to be Kevin Worthen Dressed as Batman.

It is no secret Governor Cox and his pal, Kevin Worthen, are cosplay buddies.  They hang out every Saturday planning their costumes.  Last Friday, however, Cox was in for an unpleasant surprise.  At his vacation home, Cox stumbled upon an intruder, who he promptly hit with a broom. Screeching like a pencil on a chalkboard, Worthen turned to face Cox and proceeded to flap his … Continue reading Gov. Cox Beats Up Intruder with a Broom—Turns Out to be Kevin Worthen Dressed as Batman.

Renesmee
Featured, Life, News

Church Drops 144,000 Pairs of “Righteous Shoes”

  Fans of the Church are raving over these new kicks.  The “Righteous Shoes” are the most inexpensive Nike brand shoe yet–only $5, the standard price for used shoes at the Deseret Industries thrift store.  Scared you won’t buy a pair in time?  144,00 is a figure of speech; there is no limit to the number of shoes that will be sold.   There was some … Continue reading Church Drops 144,000 Pairs of “Righteous Shoes”

Renesmee
Campus, Featured

BYU’s Alternate Universe Wins Award for Best Provo Newspaper

  On Thursday last week, we heard rumors of a newspaper contest coming to Provo.  Determined to beat the Daily Universe, we entered.  Guess what!  We won!  In your face, Daily Universe! While we were waiting for the results, we interviewed several bright, intelligent students.   “I only go to the Alternate Universe for my news,” says Cheryl Smith.   “Daily Universe who?  I only see Alternate … Continue reading BYU’s Alternate Universe Wins Award for Best Provo Newspaper

Renesmee
Featured, Life, News

Netflix Announces New Documentary “Funeral Potatoes among the Mormons”

  Netflix just announced on Monday their plans for the upcoming documentary, Funeral Potatoes among the Mormons, set to come out Easter 2022.  Though heavily upbeat, this documentary highlights the darkest part about Utah Mormon culture–the jello salad.  Every Easter, someone still brings it.  Someone else, however, brings hope to the table.  Funeral potatoes are the highlight of everyone’s year.  They are absolutely glorious, the way … Continue reading Netflix Announces New Documentary “Funeral Potatoes among the Mormons”

Renesmee