Category: Campus

Campus, Disney, Grayscale, Life, News

Honor Code Office Bans Barbie Movies

The all-powerful, historically Orwellian Honor Code Office held a meeting to counsel with each other about additional censorship. An administrator suggested 21st century Disney movies because of the apparent drama, and one committee member offhandedly complained about his granddaughter’s obsession with Barbie movies. He said that he was “appalled” to see such monstrosities as rainbows, glitter, and dancing animals. So, the committee decided to watch … Continue reading Honor Code Office Bans Barbie Movies

Renesmee
Campus, Featured, President Worthen, Sports

Russia Declines Trade for Brad Wilcox and a CougarTail for Brittney Griner

When news broke that WNBA Star Brittney Griner had been taken captivate in Russia, hearts across the nation went out to her. But no one has tried to do more than the President of God’s University. President Kevin J. Worthen is an avid lover of the basketball. But somewhat surprisingly, his true love is the WNBA. “I love watching the tall women. They are so … Continue reading Russia Declines Trade for Brad Wilcox and a CougarTail for Brittney Griner

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, Featured, Sports

Living Up to His Name: Cosmo the Cougar Revealed to be Zach Wilson’s Secret Older Lover

After spending his rookie season getting smashed by 300-pound NFL veterans, Zach Wilson decided to smash someone his own size. Former BYU Quarterback and apparent mom lover, Zach Wilson, was the talk of the town yesterday. Instead of enjoying his Sabbath in peace, he was trending on Twitter for a surprising reason. Dax Milne, Wilson’s former roommate and current Eskimo brother, posted a picture on … Continue reading Living Up to His Name: Cosmo the Cougar Revealed to be Zach Wilson’s Secret Older Lover

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, Life, News

BYU Virginity Club Ex-Admin Create BYU Non-Virgin Club

The Brigham Young Virginity Club is a “Utah-based club dedicated to preserving and promoting Virginity on college campuses”. A popular account on Instagram, @byuvirgin has accumulated over 56k followers. Recently, BYU Virgin has made several posts about how their old admin were “soft and pathetic”, and have been replaced. The new account admin have stated that “there will be NO tolerance for people who mock … Continue reading BYU Virginity Club Ex-Admin Create BYU Non-Virgin Club

Carmen Sandeigo
Campus, Featured, Life

5 Ways to Spruce Up Your Wedding

It is wedding season! You know what that means – loads of time spent waiting through your friends’s weddings, dreading the next one each time they come around. Utah is in a wedding slump. Each and every wedding is as boring as they get, most of them lacking a DJ, or, heaven forbid, dancing altogether. No offense, but your 14-year-old uncle’s mp3 player isn’t gonna … Continue reading 5 Ways to Spruce Up Your Wedding

Renesmee