Category: Campus

Campus, Featured, President Worthen

BYU Reverts Back to Online Classes to Fight Rising Gas Prices

If you’re single and looking for a smoking hot babe on campus, you might have to up your Zoom flirting skills instead. Kevin Worthen, BYU’s President and Papa, recently announced that BYU will be transitioning back to full-time online in response to the rising gas prices. According to Worthen, there will be no in-person classes until it is “financially” safe to return to campus. “We … Continue reading BYU Reverts Back to Online Classes to Fight Rising Gas Prices

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus

Opinion: Are Sweater Vests Against the Honor Code?

There are some questions as old as time. Who am I? Where did I come from? Where am I going? And of course, are sweater vests against the Honor Code? While sweater vests are both trendy and classy, a near-impossible feat in this day and age, there is a dark underside to these stylish pieces. As we all know, the Honor Code includes a” Dress … Continue reading Opinion: Are Sweater Vests Against the Honor Code?

Sister Michael
Campus, Featured, Uncategorized

‘Confusing’ JKB Converted Into Mini-Golf Course

Everybody’s 7th favorite building on campus just got a new makeover. Heavily influenced by the constant complaints and confusion centered around wayward ramps, the Jesse Knight Building has recently been converted into a state-of-the-art mini golf course. ”I was just about to finish my engineering degree until I saw this change,” uninspired Lucas Byers told the Alternate Universe. “I was inspired to change my major … Continue reading ‘Confusing’ JKB Converted Into Mini-Golf Course

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, Featured

Student Fails All Class After No One Takes Her Surveys

Have you ever been directly responsible for the demise of another person? Most people would confidently think to themselves, “Of course not! I’m a good person”. But if you just thought this and you attend the prestigious Brigham Young University, you would be a big fat liar. And yes, I’m talking to you. Sigmunda Freud was a bright, young Psychology student with strong aspirations of … Continue reading Student Fails All Class After No One Takes Her Surveys

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, News

Student Within Cosmo Suit Dies From Heat Exhaustion While Performing

Confused cheers at Miller Park quickly turned into alarmed screams last Saturday when the beloved Cosmo the Cougar suddenly collapsed during a heated BYU Baseball game. And we don’t mean heated in the sense that the two baseball teams were combative- the BYU players literally handed out copies of the Book of Mormon to the opposing team after the game. We mean in the sense … Continue reading Student Within Cosmo Suit Dies From Heat Exhaustion While Performing

Sue Sylvester