Category: Campus

Campus, News

Unhinged Kevin Utt Proposes “BYU Purge”: Twelve Hours Where All Honor Code Violations Are Legal

The Purge movie series has rapidly grown into one of the most popular and profitable horror franchises in Hollywood, with the fifth film, The Forever Purge, now hitting theaters. The plot? Just a few colorfully dressed people doing their best to murder one another like usual. But somehow director of BYU’s Honor Code Office, Kevin Utt, saw insights from the film that could be applied … Continue reading Unhinged Kevin Utt Proposes “BYU Purge”: Twelve Hours Where All Honor Code Violations Are Legal

Sue Sylvester
Campus, Featured, Life, News

BYU Finally Allows Greek Life on Campus

Over the weekend, the administration of Brigham Young University came out with a long awaited announcement. After much deliberation and prayer, President Kevin J. Worthen and his advisors have decided to allow BYU students to participate in Greek life starting Fall 2021, with the hopes that these fraternities and sororities will “increase our sense of brotherhood and sisterhood before God”. Straying from traditional Greek centered … Continue reading BYU Finally Allows Greek Life on Campus

Lisa Simpson
Campus, Featured

Incoming Freshman Accidently Registers For All Classes At BYU Jerusalem Center

In preparation for the fall semester, this week incoming freshmen were able to register for classes at Brigham Young University. Most students had the usual complaints of full classes and an incredibly disappointing lack of a class devoted to the study of the most prestigious news outlet on campus, the Alternate Universe.  One student, however, had a different problem. “I don’t know how it happened,” … Continue reading Incoming Freshman Accidently Registers For All Classes At BYU Jerusalem Center

Carmen Sandeigo
Campus, Featured

Yassss Queen, Cosma the Cougar is Same Sex Attracted— And Totally Celibate

BYU is kicking pride month off right with everyone’s favorite kitty-loving-kitty. Cosma, who made headlines when she debuted on International Women’s day, has not made a public appearance since. This trend is likely to continue, as Ed Bennett, official Cosma spokesperson, clarified, “she’s not the type of gay who makes it a whole thing.” Bennett says that “Cosma is the perfect example of what a … Continue reading Yassss Queen, Cosma the Cougar is Same Sex Attracted— And Totally Celibate

Albert Camus
Campus

Value of KevinKoin, BYU’s Cryptocurrency, Skyrockets as a Complete In-Person Schedule is Announced for Fall 2021

Despite the recent decline in value of many cryptocurrencies throughout the world, BYU’s cryptocurrency, KevinKoin, has seen record highs of $0.000000000000001 over the past week. This is largely attributed to the announcement of a complete in-person class schedule this coming fall. This announcement was not only great news for BYU students – but for investors as well. “It’s like investing in Apple in the ’90s … Continue reading Value of KevinKoin, BYU’s Cryptocurrency, Skyrockets as a Complete In-Person Schedule is Announced for Fall 2021

Bobby Zimmeruski