Category: Campus

Campus, Featured, News

World Famous Mountaineer Attempts to Scale RB Stairs, Dies of Exhaustion

Only the good die young. A sullen mood has swept over campus this morning. Colin Haley, world-famous mountaineer, was found lying dead a third of the way up the RB stairs around 7:30 am. A helicopter has since flown over to remove his body from the scene. What was going to be the most ambitious ascent of his career turned out to be the most … Continue reading World Famous Mountaineer Attempts to Scale RB Stairs, Dies of Exhaustion

Lisa Simpson
Campus, Featured

BYU Did Not Authorize the Changing of the Learning Suite Logo

It is not yet known who changed the beloved Learning Suite logo, but whoever it was, BYU did not approve it, and wants to remind students that “any form of public expression on university webspace requires prior approval.” A full investigation has been launched into all students who have done things without BYU approval, with people from Color the Campus, BYU for Beards, and Emmalee … Continue reading BYU Did Not Authorize the Changing of the Learning Suite Logo

Albert Camus
Campus, Featured

Culinary Arts and Mathematics Departments Engage in Dramatic Custody Battle Over Pi Day

Pi day is a celebration of the mathematical constant, π, that is often celebrated by eating pie. Although usually a peaceful and harmless event, this year BYU’s approach to the festivities has been marked by continually increasing conflict. Traditionally, the Mathematics department has led the pi day festivities with games, t-shirts, and infamously, poetry (don’t ask about the pikus). However, this year the Culinary Arts … Continue reading Culinary Arts and Mathematics Departments Engage in Dramatic Custody Battle Over Pi Day

Carmen Sandeigo
Campus

Ex-Tunnel Singing Boy Band Beef Escalates in the Provo Area

“Tunnel Singing” was famous around campus for being a hotbed for eager freshman boys looking to impress local girls with their beautiful singing voices. “Tunnel Singing”, the college equivalent of playing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” on the Ukulele in the high school cafeteria, has not ruled Sunday evenings recently as it did in the past. But recently, small “factions” of ex-tunnel singers have been spotted … Continue reading Ex-Tunnel Singing Boy Band Beef Escalates in the Provo Area

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, Life, News

BYU Struggles to Spin Recent Y Lighting

BYU’s “Rainbow Day” came to a grand conclusion last Thursday with a rainbow lit ‘Y’ in support of LGBTQ+ students…or did it? After facing heavy criticism online for their initial response, University Communications is now attempting to reframe the purpose behind the recent ‘Y’ lighting.  The Alternate Universe was fortunate enough to bully a BYU social media intern into leaking a few of the University’s … Continue reading BYU Struggles to Spin Recent Y Lighting

Sue Sylvester