Honor on BYU campus has hit an all-time low according to campus officials and they have called upon the only department on campus they trust to help: the Testing Center. Testing officials made the shocking announcement this morning that they are hiring TSA agents to increase security and honor campus-wide. New security checkpoints are going to be set up for screening outside of the testing … Continue reading BYU Testing Center Hires TSA to Increase Honor

In a move designed to “avoid the appearance of evil,” Bradley LeBaron, executive director of student health services, held a press conference Tuesday morning announcing that Hydro Flask water bottles would no longer be permitted on BYU premises. The stainless steel bottles are incredibly popular on campus, recognizable by their bright colors and sticker-filled exteriors. Students were notified of the change via an emergency YMessage. … Continue reading Brigham Young University Bans All Hydro Flasks

The Theater and Media Arts Department announced that they will scrub all films from their curriculum except for the newly released “Book of Mormon” video series.  “Everything that could be said about film has been said already,” said Thomas Johnson, Dean of the College, “Our students can learn everything they need to know from these really short clips.”  Students studying film will be encouraged to … Continue reading Theater and Media Arts Department to Only Study Book of Mormon Films From Now On

As the first day of Fall came and went, a familiar but unwelcome stench has popped up again on BYU campus. “It happens every year,” says famed BYU arborist Lance McPhee, “but I guess that doesn’t change the fact that it’s just really hard to walk by parts of campus without gagging.” This has been a running issue at BYU for as long as the … Continue reading Report: Trees on Campus Smell Bad Again