“I Would Rather Dismantle a Bomb Than Open Twitter” Admits Dead-Eyed BYU Social Media Intern

Elder Jeffrey R.Holland’s address on August 23 continues to generate a tense environment both online and in public here at BYU. Many upset individuals say the controversy casts a shadow over the first week back into a traditional fall semester. But when you think about it- is there anything more traditional than BYU shooting themselves in the foot with negative PR? As in an actual … Continue reading “I Would Rather Dismantle a Bomb Than Open Twitter” Admits Dead-Eyed BYU Social Media Intern

Foot Fungus Outbreak at Helaman Halls

Watch out, freshmen! Chipman Hall’s entire first floor has reported cases of Ligma, a nasty foot fungus that turns your nails yellow and causes the skin to turn porous.  Other symptoms include diarrhea, nosebleeds, foot acne, dancing feet, and an inexplicable desire to join team Edward.  Sarah Winters says, “Everyone in our hall is livid. None of us can go to the pool on Saturday … Continue reading Foot Fungus Outbreak at Helaman Halls

New Feature on Y-App: Dating

Have you ever wanted to get that girl’s number in Writing 150 but been too shy to ask? BYU has now made it possible with a new dating feature on the university’s official app. Coming Fall 2021, this new feature will allow students to swipe through their classmates looking for a potential eternal companion. BYU has created a personalized profile for each unmarried student using … Continue reading New Feature on Y-App: Dating

Student passes away due to lack of attention after offering opening prayer in mission language

There’s a lot of pressure to make a good impression for the first day of school – especially if it’s been an extremely long time since you’ve been back. Here at BYU, unprepared students all over campus worry about how they can stand out amongst such a diverse crowd. Meanwhile, countless returned missionaries slither their way to class with the ultimate card up their sleeve. … Continue reading Student passes away due to lack of attention after offering opening prayer in mission language

No One Shows Up to First Sunday Meeting at YSA Ward, As No One Wants to Get Calling

The empty chairs almost seemed to stare back as the bishopric looked around, puzzled as to why no one was at the first Sunday meeting of the fall semester. Our journalism team received a tip that no one would show to the meeting, as all the students were trying to avoid getting a calling. The only sounds audible in the room were the quiet coughs … Continue reading No One Shows Up to First Sunday Meeting at YSA Ward, As No One Wants to Get Calling