Category: News

Campus, Featured, News

Bombshell Survey Reveals that 80% of BYU’s Retention Rate is Attributed to Ice Cream Vending Machines

Brigham Young University’s annual campus climate survey reveals not-so-surprising data on retention rates. A question asked, “What is your primary reason for staying at BYU?” Among returning undergrads, 80% said it was because of ice cream in the vending machines. A follow-up question asked, “What are your other reasons for remaining at BYU? (Select all that apply).” Among those whose primary reason was ice cream, … Continue reading Bombshell Survey Reveals that 80% of BYU’s Retention Rate is Attributed to Ice Cream Vending Machines

Renesmee
Life, News

New Study Shows Modesty Outlets Outnumber Mental Health Facilities in Utah

Utah- a state ranked 50th in access to mental health care and a population full of mentally ill people. But at least they’re all wearing square neck, puffy sleeve, knee-length floral dresses! A recent study shows that modesty outlets have officially outnumbered mental health facilities in Utah, a reflection in how maybe retail therapy is the real cure. We sat down with researcher and mental … Continue reading New Study Shows Modesty Outlets Outnumber Mental Health Facilities in Utah

Sue Sylvester
Campus, Disney, Grayscale, Life, News

Honor Code Office Bans Barbie Movies

The all-powerful, historically Orwellian Honor Code Office held a meeting to counsel with each other about additional censorship. An administrator suggested 21st century Disney movies because of the apparent drama, and one committee member offhandedly complained about his granddaughter’s obsession with Barbie movies. He said that he was “appalled” to see such monstrosities as rainbows, glitter, and dancing animals. So, the committee decided to watch … Continue reading Honor Code Office Bans Barbie Movies

Renesmee
Life, News

Provo Man Deletes Grammarly from Phone After Hearing Advice to Delete Period Apps

In the aftermath of the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade, many creators on Instagram and Tiktok have been sharing advice on how to protect yourself and your reproductive health. One of the suggestions was to delete any period trackers off of your phone in the face of fears that your data could be sold or turned over to the government.  After hearing this advice … Continue reading Provo Man Deletes Grammarly from Phone After Hearing Advice to Delete Period Apps

Carmen Sandeigo
Life, News

Stadium of Fire Not So “Fire”: Audience Demands Refunds

Tonight, BYU’s LaVell Edward’s Stadium hosted the Stadium of Fire concert. It featured singers including Tim McGraw and Marie Osmond, whoever she is. About half the audience was happy with hearing the cheesiest bullcrap that would ever grace the human population’s ears, but the other half demands a refund. Apparently $250 ticket does not justify the absence of fire encircling the stage.   “I bought … Continue reading Stadium of Fire Not So “Fire”: Audience Demands Refunds

Renesmee