Much to the chagrin of those who expected a conventional Easter egg hunt, the Easter Bunny has been arrested in New York City for violating quarantine. “We warned Mr. Bunny several times leading up to the holiday that the restrictions imposed by the City of New York applied to him as well.” says Police Chief Ian Grover, “Mr. Bunny’s flagrant disregard for safe social distancing … Continue reading Easter Bunny Arrested For Breaking Quarantine
Our publishers (we are jointly owned by Amazon and Bonneville Distribution) tells us we need to write more about coronavirus because it’s “topical” and “the only thing that anyone can talk about right now.” But we are sick of it. Not sick with the virus, but sick of writing about it. We don’t know what you people want anymore. There just aren’t any ideas left. … Continue reading We Are Sick Of Writing About Coronavirus
Emperor Constantine recently made waves in the twitter sphere when he tweeted about his disapproval of the new symbol of Christ. “How am I supposed to paint this on a shield?” he said, included with a picture of the resurrected Christ under an arch. After Constantine attributed his landmark victory at the Battle of Milvian Bridge to divine intervention, the Roman population was ensured of … Continue reading Emperor Constantine Complains New Jesus Symbol Too Difficult to Paint on Shield
When President Russell M. Nelson of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced that members would join together in a “Hosanna Shout” during the Sunday morning session of General Conference, people around the world rushed to find something white and clean they could wave for the ceremony. After hearing reports of families unpacking their massive supplies of toilet paper for the occasion, Church … Continue reading LDS Church Reminds Members that it is Not Appropriate to Wave Toilet Paper for Hosanna Shout
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints recently began sending its missionaries serving outside of their native countries back home. Whether the missionary had only weeks left or had been out only a few weeks, missionaries’ times serving have been cut short. The Church has announced that the missionaries who have just returned home are being reassigned to teach the General Authorities and local … Continue reading Missionaries Reassigned to Teach General Authorities How to Use Technology in Preparation for General Conference
