In this final glorious gospel dispensation, Latter Day Saints cherish the direction they have been given regarding what to put into their bodies. For decades, a cut and dry understanding of Doctrine and Covenants 89 had united the saints. However, with Bang Energy drinks, meaty barbecues, and now coffee flavored “Cosmochino Chunky Chocolate” ice cream at the BYU creamery, the lines today couldn’t be more … Continue reading New Coffee Creamery Flavor Divides Provo

Family planning is something personal that should be between you, your spouse, your parents, your bishop, and every single member of your ward. However, if you’re deciding how many kids to have, here are some great reasons to not stop until you have replaced the third of heaven that we lost to Satan’s plan.   1. The birth rate is going down, if you don’t … Continue reading Ten Reasons You Should Have Lots of Children

Since BYU purchased Provo High in 2016, rumors have surrounded it. Many thought it would be turned into a medical school and others thought it might be used for conversion therapy. Today it was announced that the school will be turned into a paintball arena for Kevin Worthen and his friends. The arena will consist of the entire school building and a couple of outdoor … Continue reading Provo High to be Turned Into Kevin Worthen’s Personal Paintball Arena

Today, Utah declared independence. It is unclear why. There is a list of reasons that the now-sovereign state gave us on their declaration, and it is quite short. The first and only reason is because of Biden’s infrastructure plan–”He has provided an infrastructure plan that will cause there to be way too much construction. We are officially done with construction. We do not care if … Continue reading Utah Declares Independence