Strange times such as these dictate strange responses. As such, the Alternate Universe is providing a way for you to avoid the upcoming plague of locusts that we are certain is coming. This article must be liked and shared by everyone who sees it, lest your home be consumed by a swarm of locusts. This is the only way to prevent your beloved home from … Continue reading Share This Article With 3 People Or Your Home Will Be Consumed By Locusts

Students were delighted on Tuesday morning when Grifols sent out a text message to all current plasma donors offering a special bonus. The offer, only valid on that day, included a free can of caffeinated soda to those who donated.  Grifols also announced that for every pint of plasma received, the company would convince an undecided voter to vote for Bernie Sanders in the presidential … Continue reading Grifols Offers Super Tuesday Bonus to Plasma Donors

Provo is the scene of great lamentation this weekend after this round of midterms has concluded in tragedy. Many student’s main study resource, Quizlet, went down permanently last week due to Russian meddling. Sarah Sappers, a freshman, told us, “How was I supposed to memorize what a preposition or a noun is without Quizlet’s free flashcards? I looked at the study guide for my English … Continue reading Students Mourn as BYU Average GPA Falls Two Whole Points After Quizlet Goes Down Before Midterms