Engineering Department Develops “Blue Light” Glasses for Seeing Romantic Compatibility

  The engineering school at BYU has developed a product inspired by blue light glasses.  These glasses are designed to show compatibility in a potential partner.  When the wearer puts them on, they can see percentage signs floating above people’s heads that show their compatibility.  People who are married get a big red “X” above their heads.  People who are dating someone get an orange … Continue reading Engineering Department Develops “Blue Light” Glasses for Seeing Romantic Compatibility

BYU Student Claims She is Being Stalked by Her Ministering Sisters

Maggie Olsen, of the Provo YSA 185th ward, said that her new ministering sisters seemed a little off when she first met them, but that she chalked it up to them being “homeschooled or something.” When they first started “ministering” to her, Olsen said it was similarly disconcerting. “I thought it was weird when the cookies they brought me tasted exactly like my mother’s recipe, … Continue reading BYU Student Claims She is Being Stalked by Her Ministering Sisters

Marriott School of Business Institutes Casual “No Mask” Fridays, Utah County Health Department Concerned

Reports began circulating Friday morning regarding students and faculty in the Tanner building sighted without masks on, despite the on-campus mask policy in effect since Fall 2020.  Further investigation revealed that these sightings relate to a new tradition that members of the Marriott School of Business have recently instituted, coined “Casual ‘No Mask’ Friday”. In addition to a more relaxed dress code, Casual No Mask … Continue reading Marriott School of Business Institutes Casual “No Mask” Fridays, Utah County Health Department Concerned

LDS Church announces 30 New Books of Scripture Including ‘Spin-Offs’ of the Book of Mormon

The church announced 10 “spin-offs” from the Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants, including the Book of Gidgiddoni, the Book of Benjamin, and the Doctrine of Martin Harris.  These books will overlap with the stories that they come from, but also explore the inner lives and adventures of these formerly minor “characters” in core LDS doctrine. Additionally, a remake of The Book of Moses … Continue reading LDS Church announces 30 New Books of Scripture Including ‘Spin-Offs’ of the Book of Mormon

Local Man Translated After Hitting “Share” on 7th Consecutive Post of Gratitude

After listening to President Nelson’s address on gratitude, local BYU student Brian Summers was determined to follow through on his challenge to share social media posts of gratitude for 7 days straight. At exactly 11:00AM today, Summers published his final post and according to one eye-witness “was immediately filled with light, overshadowed by a cloud, sucked up through an interdimensional portal”. Sources on the scene … Continue reading Local Man Translated After Hitting “Share” on 7th Consecutive Post of Gratitude