Tag: Featured

Campus

Brigham Young University Bans All Hydro Flasks

In a move designed to “avoid the appearance of evil,” Bradley LeBaron, executive director of student health services, held a press conference Tuesday morning announcing that Hydro Flask water bottles would no longer be permitted on BYU premises. The stainless steel bottles are incredibly popular on campus, recognizable by their bright colors and sticker-filled exteriors. Students were notified of the change via an emergency YMessage. … Continue reading Brigham Young University Bans All Hydro Flasks

Chase Everhart
News

Local Smith’s Grocery Store Installs Plasma-Accepting Cash Registers to ‘Cut Out Middleman’

Over the weekend, Smith’s updated their cash registers with a plethora of plasma-collecting medical equipment, officially kickstarting its “PlasmaPay” program for the college town of Provo. Starting today, customers may begin paying for their groceries directly with blood. This bold move, Smith’s executives claim, will save hundreds of poor students several hours a week by eliminating their need to visit official plasma collection facilities. “This … Continue reading Local Smith’s Grocery Store Installs Plasma-Accepting Cash Registers to ‘Cut Out Middleman’

Warren Dusenberry
Campus

Theater and Media Arts Department to Only Study Book of Mormon Films From Now On

The Theater and Media Arts Department announced that they will scrub all films from their curriculum except for the newly released “Book of Mormon” video series.  “Everything that could be said about film has been said already,” said Thomas Johnson, Dean of the College, “Our students can learn everything they need to know from these really short clips.”  Students studying film will be encouraged to … Continue reading Theater and Media Arts Department to Only Study Book of Mormon Films From Now On

Liz Lemon
News

Elon Musk Reveals Hyperloop Pilot Program to Overcome Provo Transportation Crisis

Elon Musk made a surprise announcement on behalf of SpaceX this morning, stating in a joint press conference with the City Council that Provo had been selected as the pilot city for Hyperloop transit. Musk sees the college town as the ideal spot to test this newest mode of transportation, due in part to its never-ending construction projects. The Hyperloop, which was originally pitched by … Continue reading Elon Musk Reveals Hyperloop Pilot Program to Overcome Provo Transportation Crisis

Warren Dusenberry