Tag: Featured

Campus, Featured

Tensions Rise at BYU Apartment as Misinformed Roommate Incorrectly “Soaked” the Dishes

“Come on bro, I was just doing what my roommate told me to do.” This was the phrase used by BYU Bro Ted Fulmer in his defense against his livid roommates this past weekend. According to Ted, he was only following instructions. Following the herd one would say. But for his roommates, Ted absolutely crossed the line. What did Ted do to cause such a … Continue reading Tensions Rise at BYU Apartment as Misinformed Roommate Incorrectly “Soaked” the Dishes

Bobby Zimmeruski
General Conference, Life

Mormon Church Reverts from Rebranding

This morning’s session of General Conference, President Nelson made a surprising announcement. “We will no longer refer to ourselves as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. That is too long, and nobody’s got time for that. We will simply refer to ourselves as Mormons.” “To be honest, I am quite confused,” tweeted Bucky Bell. “Back in my day, the word M0rm0n … Continue reading Mormon Church Reverts from Rebranding

Renesmee
Campus, Featured

White Girl with Dreadlocks Wins BYU Diversity Scholarship

When McChastity Tinkles won the new BYU Diversity scholarship, she was elated. “I knew my hair looked cool,” Tinkles said. “But I didn’t realize it was free college cool.” Unfortunately for Ms. Tinkles, there were a whole lot of other people who agreed that her hair wasn’t free college cool. Across the vast interwebs as of late, there has been criticism flooding in against the … Continue reading White Girl with Dreadlocks Wins BYU Diversity Scholarship

Bobby Zimmeruski
Campus, Featured

Lost 116 Pages Found at President Worthen’s Mar-a-Utah-Lake Residence

President Kevithen J. Worthen has been on the top of the FBI most wanted list for some time now. Reports tell the Alternate Universe that President Worthen is so desired by the FBI for his “swag” and “pizzazz”. Recently, the FBI has been looking into President Worthen after receiving a tip that his presidency might have been attained wrongly. “There has never been a man … Continue reading Lost 116 Pages Found at President Worthen’s Mar-a-Utah-Lake Residence

Bobby Zimmeruski
News

After Death of Queen Elizabeth, UK to Abandon Monarchy for Reign of Judges

On Thursday morning, Elizabeth II, Queen of the United Kingdom, died at the age of 96. She had occupied the throne for more than 70 years at the time of her death, longer than any other British monarch. The heir apparent, Charles, was expected to ascend to the throne within the coming days. However, when Parliament gathered, Prime Minister Liz Truss presented a new plan. … Continue reading After Death of Queen Elizabeth, UK to Abandon Monarchy for Reign of Judges

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