Tag: Politics

Campus, Featured, News

BYU Implements New ‘COUG’ Agency to Reduce Spending

BYU’s new COUG Agency (also known as the ‘Cutting Out Useless Garbage’ Agency) has an initiative aimed at reducing the completely unnecessary and stupid things wasting BYU’s budget. Here are the top 4 cuts that you need to know about. Defunding the BYU Department of Education BYU will be cutting funding to their entire Department of Education, as professors may be more motivated to teach … Continue reading BYU Implements New ‘COUG’ Agency to Reduce Spending

Milo Aukerman
Featured, News

Is the New Utah Flag Woke?

Vexillologists and incels alike have argued that the recently implemented redesign of our state flag is far more progressive and inclusive than Brigham Young ever intended for Utah to be. And after careful examination, we’ve discovered that they are right to be outraged. Let’s start with the obvious one. The woke mob is obsessed with including people, and in this case, they just had to … Continue reading Is the New Utah Flag Woke?

Don Cheadle
Life

BYU Conservative Votes Blue to Rub It In Utah’s Face

Normally, Jenson McButton would vote Republican down the whole ticket. However, BYU doesn’t usually play Utah during the week of Election Day. Because the two are playing this week, Jenson can have no red anywhere in his life. “I’m a lifelong conservative, but I hate the University of Utah more than I hate Leftists,” said McButton. “Normally I love to say ‘Choose the Right’ on … Continue reading BYU Conservative Votes Blue to Rub It In Utah’s Face

Cameron Frye1 Comment
Featured

General Stabbed on the Ides of March as Helaman-Heritage War Drags On

As Heritage and Helaman Halls continue to take up arms against each other for some reason that nobody actually remembers, Army of Helaman General Audrey Thibaughlt has displayed extreme prowess as a strategist. But no hero is without flaw. Her ambition had become apparent to her officers, and they seized the opportunity to put an end to it. Thibaughlt was stabbed ten times–once for each … Continue reading General Stabbed on the Ides of March as Helaman-Heritage War Drags On

Don Cheadle
Uncategorized

BYU Students Enthusiastically Protest the Catholic Church In Honor of “Martin Luther Day”

As the United States of America comes together to fight racism and push for progress in the country, BYU students have mistakenly gone a different direction on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Students line the streets of Provo and walkways of BYU, raising their fists in support of the legacy of Martin Luther, the 14th-century theologian famous for his 95 Theses against the Catholic church. “I … Continue reading BYU Students Enthusiastically Protest the Catholic Church In Honor of “Martin Luther Day”

Kayteigh Leigh