Tag: Politics

News

Governor Herbert Polls Citizens on What They Would Prefer to Die from This Year

A mass mailing campaign initiated by the office of Governor Herbert reportedly landed a special poll in each and every Utah citizen’s mailbox this morning. The poll asks respondents “What is your preferred manner of death in 2020?” and then lists many possible options including COVID-19, an earthquake, killer hornets, and Danites. A special disclaimer at the bottom explains that although the State of Utah … Continue reading Governor Herbert Polls Citizens on What They Would Prefer to Die from This Year

Warren Dusenberry
Mitt lunch
News

Mitt Romney Can’t Find Anywhere to Sit in Capitol Building Cafeteria

One of the greatest traditions of our country is lunch at capitol hill. After various sessions in the House of Representatives and Senate, all the politicians sit together and eat a fine American classic: cafeteria food. In recent years, however, the great cafeteria that is the American government has become increasingly clique based. The Republicans sit with the Republicans, the Democrats sit with the Democrats, … Continue reading Mitt Romney Can’t Find Anywhere to Sit in Capitol Building Cafeteria

James West
News

Vivint Sales Bro Takes Note of Looted Businesses to Approach Next Summer

Colby Doland may have had his riveting summer of selling security systems and working out ruined by COVID-19, but he’s already set on “making bank” in 2021. Following a devastating week of protests across the nation, Colby has begun compiling a list of all businesses that have been looted or damaged in any way. He plans on approaching each and every one with his well-rehearsed … Continue reading Vivint Sales Bro Takes Note of Looted Businesses to Approach Next Summer

Warren Dusenberry
Campus

“It’s a Good Thing There’s No Racism at BYU,” Says White Midwestern Student

Recent coverage of police brutality towards black Americans across the nation have left much of the public shocked and outraged. With such perturbing acts of violence­ happening to such a significant portion of the population, some young people are trying to keep their idealism intact by looking to the bright side. “Police brutality is an awful thing,” said Owen McKay, a BYU student from the … Continue reading “It’s a Good Thing There’s No Racism at BYU,” Says White Midwestern Student

Johnny Swift
Life

Single Provo-Area Men Saving Stimulus Money For Engagement Ring

As millions across the nation spend their stimulus money to afford rent, groceries, and other expenses while dealing with the economic impact of Covid-19, some Provo-area men have taken a different approach. “Saving the money for a ring is clearly the right choice here.” says BYU student Chaz Winfield. “Besides, $1,200 is more than two months of rent so it’ll make whoever I give it … Continue reading Single Provo-Area Men Saving Stimulus Money For Engagement Ring

Donald Cherry