The Creamery Outlet in Provo has been getting a lot of traction lately as guests swarm in to grab a brand new flavor: 4000 Bees In A Cup. “The new flavor contains as many as 4000 and as little as 3998 bees of many breeds. One to two bees sometimes get lost in the shuffle. There’s just so many of the little guys in there. I mean, come on. Look at ‘em all” said employee Molly Parfait while staring down at the ice cream vat that doubles as a hive with the love of a new parent. Before consumption of 4000 Bees In A Cup, it’s recommended that customers spread a bunch of flowers in their mouth to get the full effect. Luckily, the recent removal of lavenders and carnations from the outside of the Harold B. Lee Library has provided the Outlet with lots of “Stingin’ Juice”, as it is advertised.
While this flavor may seem unappealing to the average customer, guests have admired the devil-may-care, give-no-hecks attitude of manager N. E. O’Politan. O’Politan doesn’t seem to worry so much about the flood of calls, emails, texts, carrier pigeons and smoke signals from the Operations Department at the main Creamery on Ninth, who are deeply against the new flavor. The main Creamery on Ninth, however, has not reached out in person because, according to an inside source, “they’re all allergic to bees and also flowers and also outlets.”
When reached for comment, Manager O’Politan invited us to what she called her “honey throne,” which she sat atop while we bowed at her feet after her guards commanded us to. As the honey stuck reporters to the ground with surprising adhesive, she said “Buzz buzz. The press will not silence me, nor the government. 4000 Bees In A Cup is the future. Don’t you see? This is what the people want.”
She then gestured over to dozens of people lined up, almost all ordering 4000 Bees In A Cup, with the occasional 2000 Bees In A Cup for the kids. One such guest, Al Lergic said “Delicious. It’s like Pop Rocks, but without the flavor and with a lot of pain. Perfect. Just what I-” Mr. Lergic then fell over, as his face had puffed up to the size of a 2002 Toyota Corolla.
Based on the popularity and the continuous service, it seems 4000 Bees In A Cup is here to stay. It’s 21.99 at the Creamery Outlet, because it inexplicably uses four gallons of gasoline in each cup. The Outlet is open at full operation, because here in the Beehive state, we believe in industry. The Deseret size, with 5000 bees, is coming this October, so bee on the lookout for that. Enjoy your ice bee-am.