Author: Warren Dusenberry

Warren is a skilled taxidermist and has over 10 years of experience designing farmhouse lofts. He got his start in writing in the early 1950s, and never quite figured it out. Catch him in his spare time going through other people's mail and fertilizing his expansive vegetable garden.
News

Spirit of Alex Trebek Spotted Waiting for Ken Jennings in Seattle Temple Baptistry

Brother Lee was mopping the floor of the Seattle Temple baptistry when he saw a glowing silhouette stir near the font. The spirit of beloved Jeopardy host Alex Trebek was allegedly waiting in the temple, eager for a certain Church member to come do his ordinance work. “I was just fulfilling my weekly temple duties when Trebek appeared out of nowhere.” Says Lee, “He looked … Continue reading Spirit of Alex Trebek Spotted Waiting for Ken Jennings in Seattle Temple Baptistry

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News, Sports

“Give Me 20 More!” Yells Ryan Smith as Jazz Players Furiously Fill Out Surveys

After buying the Utah Jazz for $1.6 billion earlier this week, Qualtrics co-founder Ryan Smith finally showed up to his first practice as owner. The billionaire tech CEO reportedly stepped on the court with an entirely new set of drills in hand. “You want this team to have any chance of a successful IPO, you sit down and listen to me!” shouted a frazzle-haired Smith … Continue reading “Give Me 20 More!” Yells Ryan Smith as Jazz Players Furiously Fill Out Surveys

Warren Dusenberry
News

Debate Moderator Calls on Audience Member to Offer the Opening Prayer

Debate moderator Kristen Welker paused for a moment at the start of the nation’s final presidential debate tonight to ask a member of the audience to offer the opening prayer. In an awkward turn of events the ivy-league-educated, White House correspondent had forgotten to assign anyone beforehand. “Uh, oh. Ahem. Let’s see here…” Welker mumbled into her mike when she realized her mistake, “Before we … Continue reading Debate Moderator Calls on Audience Member to Offer the Opening Prayer

Warren Dusenberry